0 (number)

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“Zero is my hero. What would we have without zero? That's right: something. Absolutely something.”

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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about 0 (number).

Nestled snugly amid the infinitely smallest and largest p0sitive and negative fracti0ns respectively, 0 sleeps, ears tuned t0 the tw0 c0ntinuities 0f the numberline stretching 0ff int0 forever. 0ne day h0wever its prince will c0me, arriving 0n a great white h0rse and sweeping it 0ff its perfectly r0unded base t0 place a huge, dribbling kiss up0n the edge 0f its elliptical rim. When this happens 0 will awaken, transf0rming in an instant int0 the l0ng-f0rg0tten number Uj, the very shape 0f which will drive men mad even fr0m imagining it. W0men, 0n the 0ther hand, and men after the great Transc0nfiguration, 0rgasm. 0 is a c0nspiracy. Flee! I said, flee dammit! The uppercase f0rm 0f 0 is ).

Events[edit]

0 is m0st n0table as the year in which Jesus was b0rn. 0r died, 0r s0mething. It is unkn0wn, h0wever, which Jesus. 0 is known as the N0nexistent Year, which led the maj0rity 0f pe0ple t0 believe that all Jesi were eternal, having never been b0rn 0r died.

0 is als0 the p0pulati0n 0f Greenland.

0 als0 is y0ur IQ level right n0w.

Dividing by 0 is the reas0n why the b0mbing 0f the twin t0wers happened.

C0nfusi0n[edit]

0 sh0uld n0t be c0nfused with zer0, which is in fact its l0ver at the Uj 0rgy. 0 sh0uld als0 n0t be c0nfused with ohhh, which is a n0ise made by w0men during sex.

All th0se wh0 insist that 0 is n0t a number are n0t true mathematicians and shall surely perish. Als0, they are inv0lved in the c0nspiracy 0f secret s0cieties w0rking t0gether t0 destr0y math as we kn0w it.

Divisi0n by 0 results in the letter E, extensive research 0n this subject is still in pr0gress.

Subtracti0n 0f 1 fr0m 0 results in -0.


New Disc0very[edit]

Divisi0n by 0 is f0rbidden f0r safety reas0ns (See Infinity B0mb). Dividing 5 by zer0, f0r example, represents a distributi0n 0f 5 apples am0ng zer0 pe0ple. N0w y0u have t0 ask y0urself: The five apples are distributed t0 n0b0dy, theref0re, the n0b0dy gets m0re than all the apples. This is because if there was just 0ne pers0n, this pers0n w0uld receive all five apples. N0w, h0wever, we d0n't distribute them t0 0ne pers0n, but am0ng zer0 pe0ple. This causes a n0b0dy t0 receive infinitely many apples. Y0u then send the n0b0dy ar0und the w0rld, distributing apples am0ng all p00r pe0ple, and the w0rld's f00d pr0blems is hence s0lved. H0wever, t0 pr0tect the fruit pr0ducers, this meth0d, and with it divisi0n by zer0 in general, was f0rbidden by WT0 in 2003.

S0me pe0ple argued against the legislati0n by claiming that n0b0dy can n0t carry infintitely many apples ar0und, and that the law was flawed bef0re it was even suggested. The metaagainstsayers againstasaid the againstayers my saying that if it is imp0ssible, it is harmless to ban it. Like the law against flying thr0ugh the center 0f the sun.

See als0[edit]