12 Apostles

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I am the Good Shepherd...

Evil Jesus
The Apostles
Heaven and/or Hell
Great Schism
The Crusades

The Trinity
The Father
The Son (Jesus Christ)
The Holy Spirit

The Bible
Old Testament
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The Gospels
Ten Commandments

Christian theology
Fall of Man · Grace
Salvation · Justification
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Mortal Sin

Christian Church
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Important Figures
Apostle Paul
Augustine · Aquinas
Wycliffe · Luther
Calvin · Trammell
· Carver

One of you will betray me”

The 12 Apostles was the secret name of a group of twelve men who worked as double agents for and against Jesus Christ. The trait that set these apostles apart was the fact that they gave Jesus his powers. Note that Jesus ONLY performs miracles when one or more of the 12 apostles are by his side. This is similar to the phenomenon witnessed when the Planeteers' powers were combined to create Captain Planet. Although Jesus and Captain Planet have never been seen in public together no concrete evidence can be produced to prove they are in fact the same person.

The 12 Apostles along with Jesus formed a Nun-Bunting team that competed on a professional level in the RPC (Roman Province Circuit). But their succes was limited, even though the had the MVP of the league (Mattew, as well as a guy who could walk on water). One famous quote that Mark said to Jesus himself "You've got to get your hips into it, there's no way you can play this game like that,"

The 12 Apostles are not to be confused with The 12 Apostrophes, The 12 Monkeys and Apollo 12. Or are they?

Many of the 12 Apostles where stoned to death working for a noble cause that they believed in so much that the we willing to give their only life to the cause, which was obliviously the legalization of marijuana seeing the way that they decide to die in protest.

War and nuggets[edit]

If you think there are nuggets, you must be looking through crazy glasses. There were only nuggets five hundred years ago, when the Remote Control Council ruled Asia Minor and soap was the number one source of Vitamin C among drug-induced teens. Nuggets open and close, and snap and bite like an alligator, like an alligator that everyone knows. ilovemybaby..

Names of the 12 Apostles[edit]

  • Mark Luke's identical twin
  • Matthew Has been seen on the TV box in recent years
  • Luke Mark's identical twin
  • John Attempted to gain the throne of the United States against George Dubya, but failed.
  • Peter, the fat autistic one with constant non-sequitur jokes.
  • Craig, Jesus' brother. Thought to be in cahoots with GWAR Iscariot.
  • Leeroy Jenkins, hero of Azeroth.
  • Rudolph, thought to be a cokehead, considering that red nose.
  • Sneezy, the first publicized case of AIDS.
  • Doc, the one who gave Sneezy AIDS after sharing needles with him.
  • Barack Obama, the craziest mofo of the 12 apostles.
  • GWAR Iscariot, who betrayed him.
  • Rufus Normally Long Rufus, but it's cold outside.


Matthew was Jesus' gayest apostole. During his TV years he admited being actually gay and having a relationship to Ben Affleck. In 1993 he comitted suicide in a motel in Ilinois by O.D.ing on a mixture of meth and heroine. Ben Affleck carried on to have a relationship with Matthew Perry as in his own words "...I never got over Matthew". Scientists today believe anyone who carries the name Matthew to be, at least secretly, gay; as he carries the apostole's gay virus.