14 signs of Apocalypse

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Ever wondered how to predict the Apocalypse? If these events come to pass, over 14 days, we advise you to hide. We also advise you to hide if robots are given artificial intellegence and overthrow humans, kangaroos or Big Brother takes over the world, or someone gets their hands on a nuke. But don't hide under a rock, or in darkness. Otherwise a Grue might get you.

1. Sony declares Nintendo as god. PSP eats Sony bigwigs as a result.

2. A Death Star appears in the sky. Never a good thing.

3. Jesus/Bruce Allan fights Master Hand in heaven - loses, he isnt Ultimate Jesus/Bruce Allan.

4. Master Hand declares himself as Ultimate Ruler of The Universe. Nintendo disagrees and sets the cast of SSB on him. His % soon hits 0. Explosions damage epileptics worldwide.

5. Paris Hilton wins the Nobel Peace Prize because of her invention to cure AIDS, wich she had to invent, because she had AIDS.

6. Anime becomes REAL. Day 6 is noted as a happy day for anime fanatics, until the combined mass of villains (numbering around 1000000) kill them. The fights break out over who is more badass, more anime, and cheesy.

7. Jesii attempt to establish order. Attempt, because games have also become fully real, and the villain/hero ratio is now 1000000:1 since the Silver Surfer became evil again

8. Ultimate Jesus/Bruce Allan and other Jesii create Perfect Mega Jesus/Bruce Allan. However, with all the "i will destroy the universe" slander going around, there clearly isnt enough power......

9. Perfect Mega fuses with Goku to form PERFECT MEGA SUPER SAIYAN GOJESUS!!!! At this EXACT moment, the remaining leaders of Sony (world spider population) reveal their evil plans and return all games and anime to normal. As a result, Jesus is trapped inside a crappy PS2.

10. The war is over......or is it? The Galactic empire suddenly replaces the moon. NASA get pissed.

11. As Gojesus has sufficient power to vaporise the universe several times, it comments that a Wii, with its sturdiness, could have held it. Not PS3. It breaks free and kills the Emperor for fun. Galactus eats Zen-La (NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

12. All Fiction becomes REAL. This results in many paradoxes, solved by the fact that Gojesus is alive.

13. You die now. People dont survive past day 13. Except a few. Chuck Norris doesnt count.

14. Tamia has a real music career.