19 (number)

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19 (pronounced n-n-n-n-NEIN!-teen) is a number. It comes after 18, unless counting by twos from zero, in which case you will never reach 19. Nineteen is less than 20 but more than pi. As far as numbers go, nineteen is prime, which means that it's barely legal, so you can derive pleasure from nineteen without fear. Nineteen is less than old enough to buy beer (in the United States), but plenty old enough to be drafted to fight in a war. It should not be confused with nigh tin, as in the phrase:

The tin of the word is nigh!


19 was named after the 19th century, because people noticed that it was being used before the th part of 19th (pronounced n-eye-n-teen-th), so people decided to call it nineteen. However, by the end of the second world war, use of the number fell into decline as the male populations in most countries generally met their use-by-dates before this age. It was not until 1988 that the number 19 made an empahatic return to popularity under the patronage of Morris Minor and the Majors who championed the number in the chorus of their popular hit "Stutter Rap", which became a beloved anthem for supporters of the number 19.

Facts about 19[edit]

  • In World War II, the average age of the combat soldier was 26. In Vietnam he was 19. I-i-i-i-i-i-in Vietnam he was 19.
  • Eight to Ten years after coming home, almost 800,000 men are still fighting the Vietnam War
  • When Chuck Norris was 19, he ordered a Big Mac at Burger King and got one!
  • 19 is the number by which all other numbers are related to. Any number, by any mean, can equal 19, and only 19. There are a total of 19 ways that any number can equal 19. 19 is also the number by which the Universe is guided. Without 19, the Universe would be in chaos.
  • By rights, Douglas Scott Bennett is the Supreme Ruler of the Universe, because he is in fact the number 19. All numbers equal Douglas Scott Bennett. The same rules that apply to 19 apply to Douglas Scott Bennett. Though he has given his title to David Bowie, Scott will come to rule over all, with David Bowie being his right hand's left hand. The Day that Douglas Scott Bennett resumes his position of Ultimate Power will be the time of pure bliss, consisting of an infinite supply of robot hookers for everyone, an infinite supply of kitties for kittie huffing (because Douglas Scott Bennett loves kittie huffing), a meal on every table, and the death of all of those who are not worthy to live in the Era of Scott. To live in said era, you must worship Douglas Scott Bennett or any of his subdeities (David Bowie, Kurt Cobain, Stephen Colbert, Jimi Hendrix, or Stephen King). If not, you will thrown into the Eternal Hellfire created by Garrett Warren Peace, where Douglas Scott Bennett banished him to for getting him kicked out of Chris Gonzalez's house.

See also[edit]