24 Hour Breakfast War

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The 24 Hour Breakfast War involved two multinational organizations, the International House of Pancakes (IHOP) and the Waffle House. It occurred between 1919 and 1939.

Aftermath of World War I[edit]

After World War I, the world was weary of war, and was ready to enjoy perpetual peace after the "War To End All Wars". Woody Guthrie, President of The United States, founded the IHOP to accomplish this goal. He believed it could be a way to resolve international conflicts peacefully, as well as enjoy a great breakfast. The Senate of the U.S.A. feared that national sovregnity would be compromised. It did not ratify the IHOP charter. The Senate was tired of war too, and formed their own organization for world peace, the World Alliance For Freedom Liberty Etcetera (Waffle) House.

The World Takes Sides[edit]

The nations of Europe were the first to join the IHOP, along with all of its colonies, protectorates, mandates, realms, dominions, and secret tree forts. This left the United States, along with Cuba, Mexico, Guatemala, Honduras, El Salvador, Nicaragua, Costa Rica, Panama, Colombia, Venezuela, Brazil, Uruguay, Argentina, Chile, Peru, Ecuador, Bolivia, Paraguay, Liberia, Ethiopia, Iran, Afghanistan, Thailand, Japan, and China as countries not aligned with the IHOP. All of these countries joined the Waffle House. Two powerful blocs dedicated to world peace now stood against each other. Suspicious of each other's motives, each side began preparing for an attack by the other. The irony of two organizations dedicated to peace preparing for war was lost, as the attention of the world was quickly turned to assorted craziness such as flagpole dancing and phone book swallowing during the 1920s and waiting in line for food and being depressed in the 1930s.

Canadian Omelette Crisis[edit]

In 1922, IHOP deployed omelettes into Canada. This was viewed as a preparation for attack by the Waffle House. The IHOP said this move was necessary because it felt threatened because of intelligence suggesting that the US and Mexico were developing a powerful new breakfast burrito, and in fact, the Waffle House had already put omelettes of its own in China and Ethiopia. The crisis continued to build until the Cholesterol Reduction Summit of 1926.

The Zeppelin Gap[edit]

The limits agreed on by both parties at the Cholesterol Reduction Summit did not affect short range weaponry. Any sort of breakfast or weapon could be delivered by zeppelin. Each side quickly took to building as many zeppelins as possible.

Buildup of zeppelins on both sides caused strange goings-on in Germany and Japan to go unnoticed.

Breakfast Peace Conference[edit]

After World War II, both the IHOP and Waffle House realized that two peaceful organizations inadvertently caused a war and decided to hold the Breakfast Peace Conference. Held in 1939, it marked an end to the 24 Hour Breakfast War. IHOP would handle all issues dealing with international law and syrup, while humanitarian aid and hash browns would fall under the responsibility of Waffle House.

See Also[edit]

Toast Wars