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The Year[edit]

Chuck Norris's crown, having been repeatedly stolen and subsequently found on many severed heads, was finally won in fair combat between a horde of grey unicorn's and Bruce Willis's great granddaughter, Bessie Von-Staben. Von-Staben, having been the sole protector of The Norris Herald, was defeated after the furor of the audience caused half of the stone colisseum to collapse, crushing eight of her legs. The Unicorns, not having official arms or hands, trampled everyone to death and gnawed the crown until it was no longer recognizable. The event sparked controversy when Charles Barkley was found wearing an identical crown seventy-two years previously, when the infamous time-traveling journalist exhumed his body from its tomb on Venus.

The Man[edit]

2864 was the number issued to a corresponding human man. Though little is known of his life, it is widely thought that he is the final Highlander and may be the same one featured in the European release of S. E. Hinton's novel "The Outsiders", infamous for the fictional slaughter of the humatoads.

The Legend[edit]

Although tomes exist documenting the entirety of the year, none are reliable, as the authors are the Unicorn Kings of Battle, the same who unanimously defeated Bruce Willis's great granddaughter. After the battle, each king formed his own version of the events that occurred, making all books written on the year contradictory. Not to mention that they were written in muddy hoofprints, so the content is completely irrelephant.

The Salve[edit]

Britney Spears' nineteenth incarnation invented this semi-popular fragrance in lieu of her failed recording career. "The Salve" went on to record fourteen #1 hits in the UK and Yugoslavia. Spears subsequently smeared herself in it and drove perpendicularly across a sixty-five lane interstate highway with three babies in her lap. The FAA filed charges and "The Salve" was found guilty of conspiracy.

Your Contributions[edit]

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