The 28th Amendment

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Bush happily signing what he thinks is a birthday card for Jesus. circa December 2002.

“Sweet! Something I already do is legalized now!”

~ Deadpool on the 28th amendment

The 28th Amendment to the Constitution of the United States of America was ratified on June 42nd 2003 making it the first successful bill since the ratification of the 27th Amendment a day earlier. The 27th Amendment delegated, "All kin belonging to members of congress shall not be sent to war." coupled with the, "hide behind the darkies." clause enacted upon seconds before the war on Iraq was declared.

The 28th Amendment[edit]

The 13th official U.S. Constitutional modification. circa June 2003.

The principal behind the Shoot First Ask Questions Later amendment was originally instigated through a citizen's initiative of paranormal significance in Waco, Texas in 1992 but was later foiled due to FBI intervention who, in turn, already possessed the ability of shooting first and then asking questions later, sometimes not even bothering with the questions.

Following referendum and several downscale police condemnations in the years following which involved some internal investigations and public indictments, the Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD) was the first figurehead authority to suggest before the federal legislature a constitutionally abiding decree that would, "empower policemen with the capacity of James Bond-like privileges," and the possibility of instituting a new federal amendment to that effect.

The Los Angeles Police Department of Alcohol, Narcotics, Citations, and Enforcement (LAPDANCE), was well known for their cooth mannerisms in brutality. (See Rodney King). The bill itself, Shoot first ask questions later, was proposed by a figurehead California pacifist senator and late-night children's television show host, Mr. Rogers. Belonging to the Green Party minority partisan, he forgot to do the thinking part, and then advocated the movement.

War in Iraq[edit]

The concept of the 28th Amendment was partly enacted upon by the Bush Regime in 2002 shortly preceding the launched war effort in Iraq. A slight modification was made to the nominal portion of the 28th amendment labeling it the, Strike First Ask Questions Later amendment.

Shortly after ratification, the speaker of the house, Dennis Hastert, immediately disenfranchised the proposed clause modification exclaiming that Bush was, “just being stupid again and belligerent. He shouldn't have acted decisively without grown-up permission.” Bush later agreed with Hastert’s reaction and altered the clause once again during a hearing to a more appropriate denotation, “Nuke First Ask Questions Later” as his father, George Bush Senior, proposed during his term in the closing days of the Cold War.

Canadians exercising the "shoot first, get shot" amendment shortly after the U.S. proposal. circa 1993.

This is not the truth!

Shoot First, Get Shot Amendment (Canada)[edit]

An adaptation of the 28th Amendment originally executed by the Canadians in 2002 via public referendum after the U.S. Senate proposed a possible ratification towards that effect. The Canadians were initially afraid that they would fall behind in the so-called "legislative race" against the United States.

The "shoot first, get shot" amendment was actually a humorous ploy organized and conducted by the lead whip Senator Indiana Jones during a time of austere boringness at the senate wing in the Capital. This gave the room of old farts a good laugh or two as stationed militant Canadians around the world began dropping like flies as they courageously provoked (usually sexually) formidable adversaries with their "hydro-gunz" and then began walking away in the opposite direction with targets drawn on their backs. Causalities during this, now festive, occasion amounted to approximately 34,492 dead and 26 wounded; the number wounded equaled approximately half the population of northern Canada.

Memorial showing a girl weeping which commemorates the achievements of the 28th amendment.

Death of the 28th Amendment[edit]

Due to casualty issues, the 28th Amendment was physically removed from the U.S. Constitution by a group of humanitarians and laid to rest on December 30th 2006 following the undeath death of ex-Zombie Iraqi ruler Saddam Hussein in Zombieland 3D Iraq.

A memorial service was offered for the 28th Amendment beside the coffins of the father of soul, James Brown, and the father of unelected incumbency, Gerald Ford Caesar MMVII.

UnUseful Related Legislations[edit]