2 Year old English Girl
2 Year old English Girls look like innocent, harmless two year old English girls. At first, this explanation looks plausible, but nothing could be farther from the truth. 2 Year old English Girls are actually vicious monsters just waiting for their time to rule the earth.
Some reasons of why they are not actually what they look like they are:
- Two year old children always go through that "terrible twos" phase.
- They sprout after the rain like mushrooms. I have seen it.
- They are always walking around eating either a giant lollypop or cotton candy.
- They bite viciously and their deafening screams can shater bulletproof glasses when their 'mothers' refuse to give them something at the supermarket.
- Although seeming to be computer illiterate, they will always be streaming live bestiality pornography when you are out of the house, using their own credit card.
Things to lookout for to tell if your daughter, niece, etc. is a monster are:
- Check if they are English.
- Also check if they were conceived, cloned or born in England to non-English parentage.
- Around two years old
- First name is Oprah.
- Packing a sub-machine gun, hand grenades or waterproof explosives inside fairy print underwear.
- Has pin-up posters of George W. Bush hidden under the bed.
IMPORTANT: If your 2 Year old English Girl suddenly becomes a world dominating monster, do not call your local police or anti-terror authority. Instead, take her to the nearest shopping mall to buy her dolls and giant lollipops and to look at the cute puppies and kittens at the pet store.