40 (number)

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The number 40 (For-tee), a jealous, bitter, and otherwise illiterate two-digit number would easily have been the meaning of life, were it not for a very unfortunate mixup at the DMV in southern Wisconsin.


40 (henceforth known as For-tee) was born as one of the eight children of the happy(?) couple Beau-tee and Beastali-tee. The other children were:

  • twen-tee
  • thir-tee
  • fif-tee
  • six-tee
  • seven-tee
  • ate-tee and
  • nine-tee

The only other brother of for-tee to achieve fame was six-tee and that was also for his awesome way of eating fish.

Ironical Gain of Recognition[edit]

“In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move.”

“Why does everything start with 'The Beginning'?”

~ Oscar Wilde on Douglas Adams

In the beginning, people did not know how to invite people to their houses. This led to a lot of frustration and anger in their lives. Then one person got an idea. He threatened the world with a roundhouse kick on the face, and Beau-tee got scared and gave him one of her kids. This was unfortunately to be for-tee. Although, this was the only reason why DMV chose him to be on the license plates in the first place.

So, now, whenever somebody wanted to invite anybody else over, they would say "Wanna come in for-tee?" The first use of this in dialogue was in the Monumental fight of Bruce Lee v.s. Dwight D. Eisenhower. Dwight D. Eisenhower said "Wanna break for-tee?" For-tee got scared and called Bruce Lee to defend him. This started the fight which led to the end of an era. At the finish, Bruce Lee and Dwight D. Eisenhower actually broke For-tee, leading to the formation of 4 and 0.

Rise of Frustration[edit]

40 represents roughly one one-hundredth of all numbers one to 100, and each of its two digits, 4 and 0 account for one thir-tee-fifth of all numbers on license plates

The DMV was having a contest that month- the 1200th person to apply for liscence plates (at participating locations only) would receive the honor of being the meaning of life. (How they were given the power to decide who got to be the meaning of life, we'll never know.)

Thir-tee Nine went just before him, and as he sat there in the uncomfortable plastic chair, he watched one of the women behind the counter; she had a very prominent nervous twitch. As she dismissed Thir-tee Ate (38), her head nearly deteached as she twiched horribly, and accidentally clicked the button three times, skipping not only For-tee, but also For-tee Won (41), a small Japanese number with a speech impediment. She called, "42?" and as Fortee-Tue got up and crosses the room, it was announced that 42 had won the contest, and was now the meaning of life.

Of course, 40 was infuriated with this, and proceeded to get in a fistfight with several other disgruntled two digit numbers. He was banned from the premises, and later that week was pulled over for driving with expired temp plates.