911 Sequel

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After 9/11 Osama bin Laden waited seven years to strike at the USA once again. It was September 11, 2009. Passinger airliners hit all US Beer companies but one. President George W. Bush called it a state of emergency, and many Rednecks died after 3 hours without alcohol, but thanks to daddy's stash 15 million survived.

The War on Terra[edit]

Bush continued his war on terra but could not find bin Laden. They suspected that bin Laden was hiding in northern Pakistan at the Afghan border, but Pakistan would not let US troops into the nation to search. Basically, Anyone bush was annoyed with, was suspected, accused, and well, had soldiers storm them.

Six months passed[edit]

After six months the warehouses that used to be full of beer were empty. Except for Old Milwaukee beer. Apparently bin Laden did not think that it was worth targeting the company that made Old Milwaukee. One man, known as Stone Cold Steve Austin went into his favorite bar in Texas and ordered a Stevewiser. The bartender was sad, and said that no beer existed any more except for one. So Stone Cold Steve Austin said he'd take that one. He figured what the hell, beer is beer. Then he drank it and said "What!?" and spat it out. He then said "This tastes like Queer Beer!" the bartender said "It is Old Milwaukee the only beer left in the whole USA". Stone Cold Steve Austin said "Old Milwaukee is Queer Beer, you jackass! Who is responsible for destroying all of the good beer?" The bartender said "That would be Osama bin Laden." he said sadly. Stone Cold Steve Austin smiled and said "Yeeeeehhhhaaaaaa, I'm gonna round up the boys, we're gonna catch us an Osama!" and he got into his pickup truck and drove to the nearest trailer park.

Redneck Revenge[edit]

Stone Cold Steve Austin rounded up about 10 million rednecks, and headed out for parts in the middle-east. Stone Cold Steve Austin lead a troop of hunters, bass pro fishermen, cowboys, and wrastlers like himself in Pakistan not caring about if Pakistan wanted them there or not. They drove 4x4 trucks, bass fishing boats, 1970's cars, ATVs, Hummers, all over Pakistan.

Two weeks later[edit]

Stone Cold Steve Austin announced to the world "We found the sorry sonabitch, he was hiding in a cave in northern Pakistan all along." and displayed Osama bin Laden strapped over his pickup truck like some sort of deer. Osama started to quote from the Koran but Stone Cold Steve Austin punched him in the head and yelled "Shaddup!" and then smiled and said "Now let me quote from my holy book, Austin 3:16 says that I just whooped your ass!"


Osama bin Laden was put into Federal Pound in the Ass Prison where he served five lifetime sentences and kept himself busy licking jelly out of Thunderdick's ass. Osama had prepared to die, but apparently we was not prepared to lick jelly out of Thunderdick's ass for the rest of his life. He'd have to make Thunderdick cum quick, or else he'd run out of jelly. (1) (With respect to Ron White who predicted this.)

The terrorists learned a lesson, Osama bin Laden did the dumbest thing he could do, destroy all of the good beer in the USA and piss off the rednecks. The rednecks formed new beer companies and rebuild the factories that Osama had destroyed by pooling their money together and they all became rich and fat on Supply-side economics by drinking beer and getting fat.

See Also[edit]