"KFC is more good than A&W."
A&W is the third most evil thing in the world, being less evil than Walmart and Satan. It was founded by some guy nobody cares about in approximately 10 097 B.C. give or take a few million years. Its original purpose was to house brown anthropomorphic bears that walked, but never said anything, but has now expanded to giving people food they couldn't be bothered to make themselves. Kinda what McDonalds does... sorry, make that the fourth most evil thing. A&W is a clever acronym for "Amburgers and Woot Beer". Brown and orange, the typical colors of the unanimals used in the making of A&W hamburgers, but also of the infamous 70's, are displayed everywhere, from the employee's ugly uniforms to the tiles in the restrooms.
Back when Nixon was President, which was close to the Try-ass-ick era, the world was infested by anthropomorphic bears. This was not necessarily a bad thing, because Winnie the Pooh was amongst them. But one day Will Smith gazed down upon the world and he said:
"Now, this is a story all about how My life got flipped-turned upside down And I liked to take a minute Just sit right there I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel Air In west Philadelphia born and raised On the playground was where I spent most of my days Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool And all shootin some b-ball outside of the school—"
Just then, a couple of guys who were up to no good, started making trouble in the neighborhood. he got in one little fight and his mother got scared, and she said "You're living with your aunt and uncle in Bel Air." I whistled for a cab and when it came near, the license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror.
You know, nothing in the above section was about the article
So, Yeah. Anyways, later, Will evolved into Hancock (heheheheh... it's got "cock" in it), and built a shelter for all the bears that didn't talk, because, what's the use of anthropomorphic bears that don't talk? This was the forrunner to today's A&W. Later that guy that nobody cares about claimed it as his own idea, and turned it into a resturaunt but nobody cares about that guy, so it doesn't matter. Luckily, some person cared enough to Falcon Punch that person into oblivion, so people could care about him even less.
The Burger Family
One day, a lone single celled organism drifted into the space behind the stove and floor and unexpectedly got hit by a passing electron. The organism said: "Hey watch where you're going ya s***head" to which the electron replied: "Whoa are you calling a s***head ya s***face!" At that point, the magikoopa turned Mama Luigi into an egg, only to get killed by a flying football. That single celled organism got changed into a burger, which grew into a teen burger, that whent through burger puberty before finding a burger mate. The burger and his mate had a two kids at which point they became Mama and Papa burgers, while their baby burgers also grew up, and one of them had a kid, so that the other burger became an uncle burger, and the two original burgers became Grandparent burgers, but the grandma burger died and they all got eaten.
Oh my god It's a run on sentence.
For centuries, Humans and chickens have coexisted in relativly peaceful... uh, coexistance. but eventually, they started eating more, and getting fat. Will Smith looked upon these chickens, but he could not put them all into a building, they're just so goddamn FAT! So there was no other choice but to eat these chickens. Unfortunatly, this made all the little German kids fat, so now, we have to get thomething to eat them as well.
Will Smith whistled for a cab and when it came near, the license plate read "Fresh" and there were dice in the mirror. If anything, he could say that this cab was rare, but he said, "nah, forget it, Yo homes to Bel Air!" and thus Jesus was born.