Ace of Base

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Ace of Base is a Swedish band from Cuba, known for their hit single that nobody remembers "I Saw The Sign".

Members[edit]

  • ABBA (pre-1987)
  • Bob Bingabogolvich
  • Jesus Nordstrom
  • Inka Bingabogolvich (1992-)
  • Celine Bingabogolvich
  • Puta Malestrom (1987-1990)
  • Nadio Claus (1987-1992)

History[edit]

Ace of Base were discovered at a concert benefitting the death of Princess Diana in Edinborough, Scotland in 1987, where they were arrested for indecent exposure. The group, then known as Le Funk, unable to pay for the bail, resorted to prositution. Puta Malestrom was the lead singer at the time and didn't want to give up prostitution, so they left him behind, reformed, fired Nadio in 1992 and renamed themselves with the addition of Inka (Bob's and Celine's younger sister) as Ace of Base. The new group saw major success in the 90s with songs like "I saw the sun" and "All that we want (Is for you to go away)" and "Cruel Winter", a cover of the fellow female group Ram-a-banana. However, by 2000, most people had forgotten them, that or didn't really give a shit. They released one final album "La Crapo" in 2002 and have yet to be heard, which may be a good thing for those who cringe at Europop music. Despite this, over the years, Ace of Base have released a number of different products with their names on them, including:

Tragedy[edit]

On May 11, 2007 a 17 year old by the name of Haley Joel Osment died while trying to whipe his ass with the official Ace of Base Toilet paper. The mother, Jennifer Tilly, was at work at the time. When she came home, she noticed the smell of shit coming from the bathroom. When she opened the door she saw her son lying unconscious on the floor. 45 minutes later, Jennifer called 911. When paramedics arrived they pronounced him dead. The autopsy came back and found no traces of alcohol or drugs in his body, but later officially stated the cause of death was by "Faulty toilet paper". On June 2, 2007 Jennifer filed a lawsuit against Ace of Base, in which she won 300 billion dollars. The whereabouts of Ace of Base remain unknown to this day.

Future[edit]

The future of Ace of Base is unknown, many have forgotten about them or don't really care anymore. Rin Tin Tin (known as Lassie by some), their manager, stated that a new album is expected sometime in the next 1400 years. When? He doesn't know. He further stated that if The Spice Girls can have a reunion, then G**damn, we can make a new album.

Discography[edit]

Albums[edit]

  • Crappy Nation/I Saw the Sun(1993)
  1. All that we want (is for you to go away)
  2. Go Surround Sound
  3. Young and horny
  4. I saw the sun
  5. Living with herpes
  6. F***in' in a high-chair
  7. Feel like torchin'
  8. Working at Payless
  9. Crappy nation
  10. Voulez-vous coucher avec moi (ce soir?)
  11. My behind
  12. Eat my drawing
  13. Dinner party
  • The wooden thingy that people cross to get to the other side of something (1995)
  1. Miserable life
  2. I'm never gonna lip-synch ever again
  3. Cheapest love
  4. Slums of Brooklyn
  5. Sean Hayes
  6. Lurlene
  7. Skanky girl
  8. Mr. Busch
  9. Kill Winnie the Pooh (Do whatchu gotta do)
  10. Wendy's fries
  11. Dave Matthew's Band
  12. Smelly hair
  13. Just A Porno
  14. Whispers in stupidness
  15. Experienced girls
  16. Mooning at 18
  • Cruel Winter/Showers (1998)
  1. Cruel Winter
  2. Ronnie
  3. Whenever I'm on you
  4. Everytime the watery stuff falls from the thingy up above
  5. Journeys in disaster
  6. Please go away
  7. Cornelia
  8. She runs & hides
  9. Always bad, never good
  10. Indian girl
  11. Escape from Atlantis
  12. Life is a bitch
  13. Dr. Kevorkian
  14. Into the list of one-hit wonders
  15. I'm gay
  16. Captain Homo
  • La Crapo (2002)
  1. Political
  2. Successfully whoring
  3. Remember us now?
  4. La Crapo
  5. World of porno
  6. Original has-been
  7. Craptastic life
  8. Throw me out
  9. Brit's a mom, what a shame
  10. Career in the hole
  11. Hey, bitch!
  12. Vile
  13. I've been shot
  14. A hundred days (before we go away)

Singles:

  • "Feel like torchin "
  • "Crappy nation"
  • "All that we want (is for you to go away)"
  • "I saw the Sun"
  • "Go surround sound"
  • "Living with herpes"
  • "Miserable life"
  • "Cheapest love"
  • "I'm never gonna lip-synch again"
  • "Cruel Winter"
  • "Life is a bitch"
  • "Whenever I'm on you"
  • "Escape from Atlantis"
  • "Always bad, never good"
  • "Successfully whoring"
  • "Political"
  • "Vile"

Interesting Notes[edit]

  • Myth has it that if you turn off the lights, stand in a bathroom while holding a glass of water, say their names 3 times it will bring forth the apocalypse.
  • Gina Gershon was originally the lead singer, in fact, she was the only member, fortunately, she died.
  • If unfamiliar with their extensive repertoire, you only need to spend some time shopping in your local IKEA.