Action Movie 2

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Writers Karl Marx
Producers Josef Stalin, Gordon Brown
Director Tony Blair
Runtime Eighty (80) minutes
Language English, Moronic
Distributed by PBS
IMDb rating

Action Movie 2 is a bullshit sequel to Action Movie, released in 2013 despite desperate pleas from the few intelligent people left on the planet to avoid it.


Five years after the first film, Dr. E. Jackulate begins work as a chemist for the FBI. He's called upon by the president to track down XXX who is wanted for several offenses including several counts of that movie was shit, and only idiots would watch this pile of dumbness. XXX is also seeking the Stone of Dephecatus to become an unstoppable killing machine, rather than just a dumbass bounty hunter.

Dr. Jackulate is paired with Special Agent Jessie Bondage (James Bond), and head off to find XXX who has just destroyed an experimental fighter-jet intended to quickly convert into a battle robot on the battlefield (Transformers). Tracking the renegade as far as Antarctica, XXX uses his new-found skills to create a distraction while he sneaks away.

Antarctica, shortly after XXX had a piss in the water.

Jackulate and Bondage are caught in a Mexican standoff with a group of killer penguins led by a giant hedgehog called Spiny Norman (Reservoir Dogs), but soon beat off the animals and end up in a boat race with XXX heading towards Africa (Speed).

Arriving in Africa, XXX is trapped by rapid floods and famine caused by unscrupulous dictators who care more about their own greed than the lives they are supposed to protect. Bondage shows off her moves by taking on XXX herself (Kill Bill), and eventually destroyed the Stone of Dephecatus.

XXX is pardoned and free to carry on as he pleases, while Jackulate and Bondage have marathon sex on the journey back home to make up for the lack of laughs for the first 70 minutes.

Films Spoofed[edit]