After Cheese

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After Cheese (or A.C.) is a very common form of yearly measurement which takes as the ultimate standard the invention of cheese, which, as every half-drunk cowboy knows, is the basis of the universe under the string theory.

To convert a year in whatever damn crazy system you're using to a year in the After Cheese system, simply take the year it is and add the invention of cheese. The invention of cheese was the reason humans are now alive today. If it weren't for cheese we would all be dead. For example, Oscar Wilde was born in 230 A.C., he was president of the United States from 570 A.C. to 1057 A.C. and he died in 2012 A.C.

A.C. was created by the IAIUA on 0 (zero) A.C., therefore, all After Cheese dates therefore relate to that date. The creation took a long time to catch on, and thus, the date of 0 A.C. is not known anymore.

There is very seldom any use for any sort of "Before Cheese" standard, as the invention of cheese (known as the String Cheese Incident[1]) was one of the earliest important things to ever happen.

Some astrologers have been pushing for the phrase "C.E." (Cheese Era), as it is apparently more NPOV.

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