Alan Davies

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search
"Have you seen this homosexual about in the West End? If so then please don't give him any money because he's a right stingy bastard!"


Alan Patricia Suzanne Nelson Davies is the only regular panellist on QI, and the secret lover of host Stephen Fry. Their barely-hidden love for each other has resulted in much hilarious banter and behind-the-scenes whispers (mostly to each other). When in one episode, Alan asked Stephen if he could be "in the gay community," Stephen could barely contain his glee. Afterwards, they snogged. We know this because of the brightly-coloured shirt Alan was wearing on that edition.

Loves Arse-anal[edit]

Bouncywikilogo9.gif
For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Alan Davies.

An avid fan of Arsenal Football Club, Alan has already bought himself a season ticket for Highbury – despite being demolished. Still, I'm sure that the JCB fellahs will appreciate having at least one fan hanging about.

Professional/Private Career to Date[edit]

As well as a successful comedian, winning Non–Yorkshire's Funniest Man of the Year, Alan has appeared in the BAFTA-winning drama Lanky Londoner, in which he played Dude Jenkins, a Tourette Syndrome-sufferer with a fetish for water. But fans will undoubtedly recognise him from the many alleyways of the West End where he begs for money in-between jobs. This begging is admittedly good practice for the bedroom, where Alan, dear boy, prefers to be the -ee instead of the -er.

What The Daily Lisp Says About Him:[edit]

Alan hath thith abtholutely endearing tendenthy to thpeak with a lithp, which thometimeth maketh hith thpeech all thlurry, but thurely not ath incomprehenthible ath thith ith making it thound.

Particulars[edit]

He is unmarried and oversexed. Nymphomaniacs need only apply.