Alan Shearer

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Alan Shearer is the son of Alan Baldwin and the local sheep Shearer. He is most notable for kicking the shit out of Roy Keane on numerous occasions. He is also somewhat of a Geordie legend. In Newcastle he is refered to as The Almighty and any sentence with his name in it must end in Amen in accordance with Gilligan's Law

He is well known for his Creosoting skills and represented England in the 1994 World Creosoting Finals where he finished in a creditable 4th place.


In the begining of time Alan Shearer and Roy Keane had a furious battle to decidewho could claim the title of 'I kicked your ass you bitch' Needless to say Shearer ended Keane's attempts by making him look the other way before somehow beating him up ( it was probably awesome)