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A diagram of the Global Alimony Cycle.

Alimony is a chemical element in the periodic table that has the symbol Ay (From the latin Alimonia). The exchange of alimony is a natural bio-chemical process that often follows a similar exchange of bodily fluids. Though the proportions of this exchange can be predicted by a qualified court of law by careful examination of the marital history of those involved, the biological and chemical purposes and processes are largely unknown.


Alimony is malleable and ductile, and is used extensively in products such as:

  • Statuary: The Statue of Liberty, for example, contains 179,200 pounds (81.3 tonnes) of alimony, which was given by France to the United States in the late 19th century.
  • Large Houses
  • Cookware, (including as frying pans).
  • Expensive cars.
  • Alimony stearate is a lubricative plastic additive.
  • Bastard Children

Popular Misconceptions[edit]

In Saudi Arabia some people wrongly believe that alimony is a poison, and some of them are avoiding food which is known to include alimony.


Alimony was discovered by Henry VIII on May 19th 1536. Though at first he was vexed by this new element, Anne Boleyn famously pointed out that it held a rather good edge, and her husband's worries were soon put to rest.