Alt-F4

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You should locate the Alt and F4 keys on your keyboard and press them at the exact time before starting to read this article, and many times throughout for the most optimal viewing pleasure.

Alt-F4 is the default key combo for the ultimate super cheat in most video games. Its usage are dates back to Pong, where hitting Alt-F4 would result in immediate scoring. No one has ever discovered who got the point, because due to last minute rushes, the Alt and F4 buttons were left out of the final product.

History[edit]

Alt-F4 was initially used sometime in the 80's as part of Microsoft's campaign against people with small hands. It was decided that if people with small hands (also known as nubs, since their fingers seem knubby) could not use the ultimate cheat code with one hand, their opponents could take advantage of their idle time before button presses to pwn their souls, thus causing the nubs to feel a sense of failure in life, leading to a premature death. Later attacks came with the design of the Xbox's standard controller, which was in fact supposed to have dicks as well as F4 but were later exchanged for the black and white keys (which don't do anything).

Using Alt-F4[edit]

To use Alt-F4, simply press the left Alt with your left thumb, and then hit F4 with your middle finger. Some people suggest using the Alt key to the right, but some people die horrible slow painful deaths. One interesting fact is that the Alt-F4 key combo is available on not only Windows, but also on Macs! (only the Alt keys, as well as F4, are hidden and you have to break open the keyboard to use them)

Alt-F4 is not for everyone. Contact your doctor before using Alt-F4, especially if you are using it with any other combos, nursing, pregnant, or may become pregnant, and also CTRL-Z (the infamous undo, but that's another story). Possible side effects include:

  • Angry users (if you are the server)
  • Waste of hours of life
  • Anal leakage
  • Broken keyboard/computer screen
  • Hurt thumb or middle finger (it's a long way to reach without stretching first!)
  • Nausea
  • Heartburn
  • Upset stomach
  • Indigestion
  • Diarrhea
  • The sudden urge to scream "YAY PEPTO BISMOL!!"
  • PWNT in a DotA (BANNAGE!!)
  • Hair loss (from pulling of hair)
  • Unstoppable tear flow
  • Cancer
  • Nazis (may or may not include angry jews.)
  • Confusion
  • Depression
  • Insanity
  • A random hot person of opposite sex(anthro or not[I prefer the ones like wolves, foxes or something in that category ;) ]) to kick you sharply (mercilessly) in the shin and leave
  • A roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris
  • Insomnia
  • Sudden addiction to "Jesus"
  • Seeing a random link to a good website that affects you better when you're morally pure.
  • Sudden optimism
  • Loud monotonous beeping sounds
  • The cake being a lie
  • Yelling "There are OVER 9000!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! side effects!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
  • Finding yourself suddenly and unreasonably losing the game.

Alt-F4's effects[edit]

The effects of Alt-F4 can vary greatly between games. The one constant is that its effects are directly proportional to your level of Pwnage. When Chuck Norris hits Alt-F4, people die. And not in the game, either. Many games have different effects with the Alt-F4 combo. Take the following for example:

  1. Age of Empires - Instant kill of one enemy army.*
  2. Solitaire - Instant win.*
  3. Minesweeper - Instant flag of all mines.*
  4. Any Flash Game - Instant completion of any goal.*
  5. Counter Strike - Can set up us the bomb anywhere or defuse the bomb instantly.*
  6. World Of Warcraft - Free 5000 gold pieces.*
  7. Guild Wars - Instant full armor at no cost to you.*
  8. Portal - Free cake.*
  9. Half-Life 2: Episode One - Rape Alyx.*
  10. Half-Life 2: Episode Two - Rape Alyx doggy style.*
  11. Team Fortress 2 - Make spies disguise as Michael Jackson.* / Mutes players.
  12. The Sims - Instant completion of any goal.*
  13. Half-Life - All weapons instantly.*
  14. RuneScape - All skills at 99.*
  15. Starcraft - The only way to stop Zerg Rush.*
  16. Windows - Instantly opens the screen in which you may beat Windows, no matter the difficulty level. Yes, even Vista.*
  17. BSOD - "You lose." Closes program and returns to Desktop.*
  18. YouTube - Posting the message "This is not spam Post this in three videos then press Alt-F4 to see your crush's name onscreen It's true" three times in various video comment boxes then pressing this combination will NOT show your crush's name onscreen. Instead, it will show the name of the person you will marry someday.**
  19. DotA - INSTANT whosyourdaddy CHEAT

These cheats work better when used on the final level of a game, but saving will make these cheats unusable.

Note: On a Mac, Alt-F4 will only result in a ton of gears turning.

Notes[edit]

* Warning: any n00bish attempt to use this may cause failure at life and bringing upon thyself the Wrath of God.

** Alternatively, if you'll never marry, it'll open up this fun game.

See Also[edit]