Amadeo Avogadro

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Meinst du Amadeus?


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“Holy moley! ”

I do NOT have a single mole on my face, as you can see.

Lorenzo Romano Amedeo Carlo Avogadro di Quareqa edi Avogadro Quarega edi Avogadro di Quareqa Romano edi Carreto, a shortened version of his full name, informally known as Amadeo Avogadro, was an Italian servant. Like all Italian youth, he was forced to work in a factory at the age of 4. He is most noted for his contributions to the theory of molarity and his large moles. He also formulated Avogadro's Law of Mole Removal.

Biography[edit]

Early Life[edit]

Amadeo Avogadro was born in one of Europe's many states, Italy, to a family of Italian servants.

Avogadro began growing giant moles at the early age of 20. Being good friends with Einstein, Leonardo Da Vinci, and other famous scientists alive at 1796, he soon dedicated himself to physics and mathematics (then called negative philosophy), and in 1809 began teaching them at a high school where he quit soon after due to the embarrassment of his moles.

Further Adventures in Skincare[edit]

In 1811, he published an article with the title Essai d'une manière de déterminer les masses relatives des molécules élémentaires des corps, et les proportions selon lesquelles elles entrent dans ces combinaisons ("Essay on Determining the Ability of Removal of the Elementary Moles of Bogies and the Proportions by Which They Enter The Skin") which contains Avogadro's hypothesis. Avogadro submitted this essay to a French journal, De Lamétherie's Journal de Physique, de Chimie et d'Histoire naturelle (Journal of Moles, Skin Care and Giant Pimples) so it was written in French (another dialect from Europe), not Italian. (Note: In 1811, northern Italy was under the rule of the French King, Napoléon Bonaparte).

In 1820, he became Professor of Moles at the University of Turin. After the downfall of Napoléon in 1815, northern Italy was under the rule of the of this kingdom.) It was at this time that a leading pseudo scientist called Albert Einstein calculated that within 2 to 350 years, Avogadro's moles would consume the entire universe. Hence, Avogadro set out to discover what has come to be known as Avagadro's Law of Mole Removal.

He was active in the revolutionary movements of 1821 against the King of Moles (who became ruler of Pimples with Turin as his capital). As a result, he lost his hair in 1823 (or the university officially declared, it was "very glad to allow this interesting scientist to take a rest from heavy teaching duties, in order to be able to give better attention to his researches")[citation needed].

Eventually, Charles Albert granted a Constitution (Statuto Albertino) in 1848. Well before this, Avogadro had been recalled to the university in Turin in 1833, where he taught for another twenty years.

Private Life[edit]

Little is known about Avogadro's private life, which appears to have been drunk and satanic. He married Felicita Mazzé and had six children (none of which shared his infamous moles, which lead to suspicion illegitimacy.

Avogadro held posts dealing with moles, pimples, zits, stimulated erections, body hair and warts (he had a lot of them) and was a member of the Royal Superior Council on Public Mole Removal.

On July 8, 1856, Avagadro finally finished his research on his Law of Mole Removal. He researched and invented all 79 steps to remove his moles.

On July 9, 1856, Avagadro died of blood loss of unknown cause. His wife and the 6 kids that were still living at the time were accused of murder, and were all sentenced to death by electrical chair.

Avagadro's Law of Mole Removal[edit]

Avogadro discovered that by:

  • Multiplying Π by 3
  • Placing the result inside a pie.
  • Adding a bowl of milk.
  • Defying the laws of gravity and matter.

He was able to successfully remove his oversized moles.