The American-Canadian war has become the most popular secret war of all time. It was started by the Brits and the Serbians arguing whose food was worse. Obviously, the Brits won with their outlandish spotted dick that everyone had on Wednesdays. Then the Canadian and American people who lived on the continents of North America and South-central America believed their land belong to them because they had chuck norris on their side with his deadly roundhouse kicks. God and satan feuded over the land for many years, but figured man would just kill themselves like last time (see nuclear war on Mars 178783 WB.C).
Having the serbs on their side, Canadians claimed they had the better bacon than America. America then sent chuck norris to settle this dispute and Canada has never said anything since. The Canadians and the America then got into a feud over such topics as who had the better hitler, whos mom was hotter, and if Maury Povich or Jerry Springer had a better show featuring more red-necks and black people than fried-chicken night in new Orleans during hurricane season.
Soon enough, Canada, with the serbs behind their back, shot spam and beaver doodoo with their hockey sticks at the American tanks that were protected by silver monkeys and tokens of immunity that will save them from scary natives jumping out of the walls and grabbing them, letting their teammates go in, but knowing that they have no chance of winning. The Canadians were overruned and the Americans conquered the much needed land of Montana, with contained many money trees, porn bushes, and Bill O'Reilly; no spin zone Magazines(later used for lining for the dinoHitler cages).
Satan, leader of the Canadian army which entirely got pwnd or owned for some people who do not know the language of Australia. The trials that led after the war resulted in him having to share a cell with Saddam Hussein and Kermit the Frog on acid.
Jesus, the almightly himself, led the American army in winning the war and believing that baseball and apple pie are worth living for. He later accidently invented the "reach-around" by grabbing for a hotdog that happened to be infront of Michael Jackson who was holding a little boy's hand while watching Bill O'Reilly (Shut-up!).
Your mom; who was second incharge of the Canadian Army. Your mom dissapeared into the woods of Ainran, Wisconsin. Some believed that while she was pleasing seven migdets of miderwood, she injured her eardrum, causing her to pull out too early and causing gingevites that made her go crazy and rape little children who venture too close to her while trying to find the lana tree which gives out hot pockets and opium leaves.
Chuck Norris; second incharge of the American Army, gave countless blows to the canadian army by roundhouse kick combos. Some believed chuck got a combo of 1337, making hime leet warrior of all time and next time. The Canadians tried everything to stop him, but his only weakness being nuck chorris, but he was fighting in Russia(see Nuck Chorris pwns Siberia). After the war ended, chuck walked away from the battles, following Ryu into the sunset, thinking thoughts of ungratefulness and how they couldn't stay for the postwar party. fss