From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Amero coins - money of the near future. Note the "kick-ass" likeness of Tony Jaa on each 20 Amero coin
For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Amero.

Give me control of a nation's money and I care not a hoot who gets the boot

~ Mayer Rothschild on the economy

Imagine if one day you learn there is a US dollars clearance sale on at the FED, "Buy one dollar for an Amero cent and get ninty-nine dollars free" - what would you think? Probably whatever the corporate media presstitutes tell you to think. But Uncyclopedia has enough behindsight and moxie to tell you that will signify the birth of the lovable Amero, which is a new transnational currency being introduced by the global banking cabal.

Here's how it will happen:

By 2020 the US dollar will be turned inside out, like the pockets of a hobo, causing the old greenback to be reviled. Then and there operation Big Short Change will bare fruit with new Amero money being shoved down our collective throats by the World Bank. But this grande finale will be preceded by events leading up to the Big Short Change which unfold in three easy steps: First NAFTA will develop into the North American Union (NAU) - the economic and monetary union of Canada, the United States, and Mexico. Next Hugo Chavez and Fidel Castro will be terminated by law-abiding US assassins and/or CIA sponsored Cancer cells so the North American Union can join with the South as the American Union (AU). Then the American Union will be combined with the European Union (EU) and the Oriental Union (OU) -- after forsaking the eugenically emptied but resource rich waste lands of Africa -- ultimately leading to the New World Order AKA the United States of Earth, with a common currency called the Euro Amero.

US $ Self-destruction[edit]

Amero in your face!

“It's worth even less than the ink that's printed on the paper”

~ Federal Reserve on the old US dollar

The US dollar is systematically being devalued by a built in self-destruct factor known as "debt" that was set in motion in 1913 when hoodwinked President Woodrow Wilson passed a law establishing the private Federal Reserve. It was an unconstitutional law which handed the dollar copyright over to elite private bankers, empowering them to legally print counterfeit paper dollars, assured by nothing, and then loan that money at imaginary value plus interest to the government and its dependents. Ironically, at the time of creating money, the cash to pay the interest is not created. So in order to pay the old interest the government needs to borrow more play money at interest. Again new money is created but not the cash to pay the interest on the new money, which was printed to pay the old interest on the old money - thus intentionally incurring ever new and burgeoning government debt. We assume that this is perfectly clear to you!? Of course such manner of colossal fraud perpetuates an impossible mathematical conundrum ultimately leading to a complete takeover of the entire material creation by bankers who are Fraudulently Empowered Dictators AKA the FED

This FED, which is a front for the Bank of England[Citation not needed at all; thank you very much], is 100% privately owned by a secret cabal of international global elite known variously as Bilderberg Group, Rome Club, Trilateral Commission, CFR, Skull and Bones, Illuminati, Bank of England, Hell's Angels, and the Lion's Den, who are all capable of alchemically transforming air into gold by printing money from nothing and then loaning it at make-believe value - plus interest - to The United States for its massive socalist bailout programs.

Initially things proceeded quite well until the frogs, in typically French fashion, grew impatient and wanted to redeem their play-money dollars in tangible gold. But the USA didn't want to give them any gold because gold is, after all, valuable. So America canned all its gold reserves, created OPEC, and changed US dollars from a gold standard to an oil standard called Petro-dollars. Initially this also seemed to work well until Saddam Hussain and Muammar Gaddafi committed the selfish sin of selling oil for Euros and other currencies, and we all know how pathetic they both ended up.

Ultimately the plan is to make the world become dis-enchanted with the USA dollar so that human populations willingly embrace the new Amero system without objections or suicide bombings. According to ancient Mayan economists this will occur when gold hits US$40,000 per oz on Dec. 21, 2020. At that time it may be announced that gold sells for 9 Ameros per troy oz, and oil sells for 1 Amero per barrel. The idea is that it's a grand idea. At least that's what the "man" wants us to think. And remember: we're either with him OR we're with the terrorists.

Exchange Rate[edit]

It is projected that the exchange rate to turn in canceled US dollars will be 00.10 Amero cents per $100. This, however was declined for it's simplicity at the last moment for a more inconvenient way of doing things which involves a more complicated math equation:


The implementation will involve all the countries in North & South America giving up their current currency units (U.S. dollar, Canadian dollar, Cuban cigar, Mexican weed, Bolivian coke, Columbian coffee bean, etc.) and adopting a new one, i.e., the Amero. The concept is modeled on the common European Union currency (the Euro), and it is argued to be a natural extension of human greed and avarice. The governments of the United States, Canada, Mexico, Cuba, and all countries in South America are already preparing to implement the Amero as part of the American Union (AU) which will help pave the way for final NWO disclosure of the already existing US and world shadow government Corporatocracy, viz., the UNITED STATES OF EARTH INC. PVT. UNLTD.

Replacing the old $ sign is the new Amero symbol. You will love this symbol! You will love this symbol! You will love this symbol! Repeat this mantra: "I will love this symbol!" Again!


The idea for a global currency to be called the Amero was first proposed in the Winter of 3974 BC by Moshie to Fatima near Dagg Village in Upper Babylon. Later, in the Spring of 1563 AD the idea was again suggested by Cecil Chatsworth to Jasmine, a Chelsea hooker in London. The idea was recently proposed again in 1999 by Canadian economist and Illuminati spokesman, Herbert G. Grubel. It was predicted by God themself approximately 23.7 googol years ago in the Holy Draconian: III/14/7-8. And it was also predicted in the Mayan calendar thousands of years ago that in 2020 an Amero would alter the Earth.

Already Minted[edit]

Canadian economist Herbert Grubel published a book titled The Case for the Amero in September 1999, the same year that the Amero became an unannounced virtual currency, and 85 Trillion Ameros were secretly shipped to China, Russia, Monaco, and the Cayman Islands.

Amero Bills & Coins[edit]

December 3, 2008, Hal Turner's blog featured genuine coins and Amero bills. He displayed photographs of .02, 2, 20, 200, 2,000, 20,000, 200,000 and 2,000,000 Amero coins and notes. Turner did not identify how he obtained the images, saying only that "once again, my sources have come through." He did, however, stress the unlikelihood of there being any number 3 denomination Amero coins or bills.

Kick ass value[edit]

Besides blind-faith-value and silver-value backing up the Amero there will also be the "kick-ass" value-factor. The kick ass values are as follows:

  • .02 Amero coin (featured likeness: Roberto Duran)
  • 2.00 Amero coin (featured likeness: Pee Wee Herman)
  • 20.00 Amero coin (featured likeness: Tony Jaa) - SEE ABOVE EXAMPLE
  • 200.00 Amero bill (featured likeness: Clint Eastwood)
  • 2,000.00 Amero bill (featured likeness: Steven Segal)
  • 20,000.00 Amero bill (featured likeness: Jet Li)
  • 200,000.00 Amero bill (featured likeness: Joe Pesci)
  • 2,000,000.00 Amero, the largest bill (featured likeness: Jack Bauer)

Anti-Counter-fit Measures[edit]

Ameroland - Borderless except for the seas. Disneyland of the future - Ride a roller-coaster from the tip of Southern Argentina all the way to Alaska with an E-ticket. Opening Dec 21, 2020

To foil any planned attempts at Amero copies, the founding conspirators arranged for each coin and each note to contain a one GB chip in the form of a plutonium strip that contains the equal amount of ass-kick, blind-faith & silver in digital format that is denoted by the particular unit. Any fully equipped science lab can easily spot a phony Amero (provided they possess a bona fide Amerometer). Or they could at least certify whether a 20 Amero coin is worth 20 Ameros.

Amero and the black market[edit]

The Mafia world-wide, and all those who are holding untaxed or undeclared paper US$ will be granted an amnesty to convert their currency into new Ameros, no questions asked. This amnesty is still in the planning stages, but insiders hint that the no-questions-asked amnesty would only last for three hours after it is implemented -- just enough time to round them all up for arrest. The Black Market exchange rate is expected to be $100,000 = One Amero.

Political mandate[edit]

Both Lou Dobbs, a reporter and commentator for CNN, and Phil Ratcher, a bicycle repair man in Boston, have suggested a North American Union (NAU) leading to an "American Union" (AU) is being implemented, without the knowledge and consent of the majority of the people who would be affected by this. The identity of the conspirators remains a mystery, but keep your eye & ear on Eminem who is rumored to be the New World Order's official spokesman.


It is projected that the FINAL conversion will come on the back of TEN major changes: 1) OPEC will rule to sell oil only for Ameros, 2) Metallica will only sell their new music for Ameros, 3) iPhones will be sold exclusively for Ameros, 4) All recreational drugs will only be sold for Ameros, 5) All non-recreational drugs will also be sold in Ameros only, 6) alternative power such as sub-atomic, supra-mental, whirl-wind, tidal-wave, perpetual-motion, solar-flare, slave-labor, and THE Force will be for sale only in Ameros, 7) Time Travel will only be in Ameros, 8) any possible new season's of "24" will be sold in Ameros, 9) ALL food and drink (including beer, wine and whisky) will only be sold for Ameros, and finally 10) the President will publicly endorse the Amero by tossing a coin into the air and shooting a hole through the center, followed by a 21 Nuke salute in Iranistan which is hosting the WWIII Olympics.


Goal: the United States of Earth

Taking the left to its extreme conclusion is Communism, and taking the right to its ultimate conclusion is Fascism, but it may be noted that both equal the very same thing, viz., COLLECTIVISM. The World will be divided into six economic Amero-zones, viz., drugs, food-water, energy, gambling, weapons & porn, and finally joined together for total one-world government or the New World Order. The entire planet becomes one country, the UN becomes the central government, and your old country becomes a state in the United States of Earth with Amero as the denominated currency - whether you like it or not.

External Links[edit]

See also[edit]


Potatohead aqua.png Featured Article  (read another featured article) Featured version: 17 March 2012
This article has been featured on the front page. — You can vote for or nominate your favourite articles at Uncyclopedia:VFH.
Template:FA/17 March 2012Template:FA/2012