Ancient Aliens
“You don't believe it was aliens? Well than f*ck you and the spacecraft you came here on!”
“I don't know, therefore aliens.”
“The only way to prove that aliens never came here, is for them to come to earth and say "We've never been here before".”
“The bread goes in, the toast pops out. Aliens.”
“Mexicans.”
“The reason this meme hasn't died out yet is... aliens.”
Hi, I'm Giorgio A. Tsoukalos, director of the Center for Ancient Astronaut Research for over 12 years. I've discovered that the answer for everything, is most likely aliens.
Contents
Aliens[edit]
Aliens? Have they existed since ancient times? The answer is possibly yes. I believe, King Tut, Chuck Norris, Hitler, Date Masamune, and Brett Anderson were all aliens. The only way to prove me wrong is for aliens to come to earth and say, these guys aren't our homies. So therefore, shut up and believe me!
Ancient Aliens and Monsters[edit]
Everybody knows the legends of monsters such as Bigfoot, the Lochness monster, Vampires, Winnie the Pooh, Justin Bieber, Charlie Sheen, and Spider-Man right? Well what if the explanation of these mysterious creatures was some kind of extraterrestrial experiment?
In the hit movie Frankenstein, the story tells of a mad scientist who creates a hideous monster and it lived. Seemed pretty realistic to me, just putting it out there.
But what if the monsters we hear about shared a twin story line with that of Frankenstein? What if the monsters were projects made by creatures from somewhere in the universe, and had a purpose to be sent here on Earth to scare us Halloween? It just makes perfect sense!
Who created monsters and Frankenstein? Aliens!
Ancient Aliens and the Creation of the Human Race[edit]
We've been studying some body parts **cough**cough**penis**vagina**cough**. Anyway, we've come to a conclusion, the aliens made us. No, not China, the Extraterrestrial Chinese.
Recently, a guy discovered remains of a two million year old (very young, just saying) early human female and her son. The answer must be aliens. Its just so simple! Since the bones revealed that they walked upright, and had modern hands, it must be. It has to be, evolution. How does evolution occur? Probably aliens.
Ancient aliens, erm, I mean homidads, hombibabs, hominominam, or whatever! Ok, aliens! No, I mean ancient humans! Yes, ancient humans had many types of FAIRY GOD ALIENS! Excuse me, I mean ancient human had many type of kinds coexisting. Darwin might have an explanation for this. **I**cough**have***cough**the**cough*answer*cough***aliens**cough*cough**
Darwin's theory of evolution was probably told to him by aliens, which is highly probable.
According to some blonde bi-atch, it was an advantage to these ancient humans with natural selection, meaning they had sex naturally. But let us just say it was aliens? Okay? 'Cause its true. You know?
Darwin might have suggested that ancient humans had evolved to walk on feet, and so they used hands to make weapons to wage war. Obviously it was aliens. Darwin then said they evolved about 2,000 years ago into modern day humans. Many people, such as myself, dispute this theory. Why? There's no ancient motha-fucking aliens!
“We don't see dolphins building cars. We don't see elephants building houses. That might send trial but its a fact that these animals simply just haven't progressed and advanced the way we have. And the big question is, why is that? Why should that happen? Why should we be so unique?”
“Aliens.”
“Because they aren't smart.”
Obviously, we were stupid until the last couple tens of thousands of years, but now we're smart. Aliens man!
Since the book The Naked Ape was released in 1967, we can assume aliens are the reason we're less hairy than almost every single animal in the galaxy. Aliens are naked, and hot. So we became naked when they created us. Point proven.
Who created man? Aliens.
Ancient Aliens and The Greyish Greys[edit]
Prehistoric sculptures of reptilian beings. Weird skulls dated nearly over three thousand years old! Those longated skulls were seen in Egyptian pornography and sculpting. This must mean one thing... they were people who were 1/4 human, 1/4 brony, 1/4 banana, and of course... 1/4 alien!
Aliens.
Aliens and Evil Places[edit]
The Aokigahara Forest? Suicide? Aliens!
