Andy McNabb

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Andy McNabb was interested in the army at a young age but, due to his continual problem of his childhood obesity, he had his hopes dashed and was relegated to the Traffic Patrol. In 1987 he joined up as a boy patrolman and started his career, he served during the 1990s and in 1991 he and his patrol, Bravo Two Zero, were captured and the story of Bravo Two Zero was born. After retirement Andy wrote several books about his life in the Special Automobile Service Traffic Patrol.

Bravo Two Zero[edit]

In 1991 an eight man team from the Special Automobile Service (SAS) were accidentally inserted behind enemy lines in Iraq. There mission was to take out Scud Missiles that were known to be a non-existant weapon and to sabotage cable TV lines. Of the eight who went out, only five returned. Dropped into 'scum valley' the team were cold, hungry, surrounded by enemy militia and with absolutely no idea why eight men from Traffic Patrol were in Iraq. Three died in action and only one of the five esaped torture. McNabb, being the incompetent patrolman he was, was captured by Suddam's men and tortured with a mixture of old Barney the Dinosaur episodes and long talks with the inbred members of the militia. Eventually McNabb was released (when his team realised he was gone) and promptly wrote a book about his harrowing events.


After allowing three men to die from his atrocious driving McNabb decided to try his hand at writing. His first novel, Lord of the Rings, was a disaster but was later picked up by another author and updated which turned it into a huge hit. In later works he decided to write toddler novels that better suited his mental age. None being much of a success he decided to become military advisor to George W. Bush, which he still resides as. George Bush is said to have supreme confidence in Andy, he also happens to have blamed the entire Iraq war on McNabb, a fact McNabb vehemently denies.

Military Advisor[edit]

In 2000 Andy McNabb applied for the job of military advisor to George Bush, confusing him with military hero Laurence of Arabia he appointed McNabb. McNabb quickly set about establishing his authoritarian rule over the government. Despite many accusations that it was Bush who decided to go to war it was actually McNabb who decided to go to war with Iraq( decided by rock, paper, scissors ). His refusal to pull out of Iraq and constant 'oh we were so close' moments of capturing Asama Bin Laden has lead many to believe his time in Iraq has brought him close to the Iraqi people. Countering this is his ruthless, personal execution of Suddam Hussein ( many believe he was the hangman )with which he sent a mesage to his opposition. Dick Cheney is rumoured to be his 'poker pal'.