Animal Fucking Day
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Animal Fucking Day is an international holiday, celebrated every year on March 12 (also known a Hump a Heffalump Day) and is held in conjunction with Roadkill Appreciation Day, which is held the preceeding day. It celebrates the many achievements of mankind on how to make anything a fuckable animal.
Cities ranging from Toronto to Tijuana all celebrate this day by holding mass parties and parades, encouraging people to grab any dead animal or pet animal and then fuck it. On this day, many schools too, mark the occasion by holding special assemblies and lessons where teachers and/or principals demonstrate the fine art of animal fucking and hold animal fucking appreciation lessons.
Theodore Bo Geyman is the official patron of the A-Fuck(ing) Association and every year holds a grand Animal Fucking session in Disneyland, Bill Gates is also know to hold a commemorative party every year as well. People who celebrate Animal Fucking Day are called A-Fucks (which stands for Animal-Fuckers).
The Ten Most Spirited A-Fucks
- Michael Jackson
- Steve Ballmer
- Billie Joe Armstrong
- Osama bin Laden
- Paris Hilton (person)
- Your Mom
- Bill Gates
- Kermit the Frog (yes, he fucks his dead sisters)
- Lance Armstrong
Animal Fucking Day was started in the negative 21st Century by That Guy. He accidentaly ran over a racoon while driving his new Toyota Prius. He got out of the car and saw its vagina. He said the following:
“Sweet. A pussy. I should go and fuck it.”
He then grabbed the dead racoon and humped it for two hours. Other people saw him and started to fuck what they ran over and even their pets. This was the beginning of Animal Fucking Day.