Aqualung

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Did you know Jethro Tull released an album called Aqualung? Neither did we......

“I'd love to use an aqualung, but I'm as thick as a brick”

~ Ian Anderson on Aqualungs

“What's that?”

~ Jethro Tull on Aqualung

The Aqualung is a common respiration tool used throughout the sea kingdom of Wateryfunland. Its use of a special water-permeable membrane allows it to syphon oxygen from the surrounding water, while expelling the hydrogen. The aqualung is necessary to those without gills for long underwater trips where a S.C.U.B.A. system is not practical or too expensive.

Innovation through Invention[edit]

The creation of the aqualung began out of necessity. A young and viril William Braydie was searching for a way to spend large amounts of time in the bath tub submerged, but hated the fact that he constantly had to come up for air.

At the time, Scuba tanks were large, bulky contraptions which were expensive and feasible only for short ocean dives. Also, William Braydie's mother wouldn't allow any such "devil devices" in her home. This dilemma led to Mr Braydie's research in the field of membrane utilization, or membranics. Over a course of many years and with many failed attempts and pruney hands, William was able to create the first prototype water-membrane, or aqualung. His new invention led to many an hour spent underneath his bubbly tub of fun; splashing away the pain of his many failed marriages. He now resides in New York City, and he is homeless. He can be seen sitting on a park bench, eyeing little girls with bad intent, snot running down his nose and smearing his greasy fingers on his shabby clothes.

The Aqualung Today[edit]

With the discovery of the magical kingdom of Underwateria, there arose a need for a means to stay for long periods of time under the water, so that the gentle populace of this newfound world could be captured and hunted for sport. William Braydie decided that it was time the whole world benefited from his discovery and made public his marvelous creation. With this unveiling, the ocean no longer became a world of mystery; instead, it became a place where everyone could gather and destroy the sanctity of an unknown world, untouched for countless generations.

Speculation surrounding the creation of a hybrid seed-drill cum underwater breathing apparatus has thus far remained unconfirmed. Although Jacques Yves Cousteau and Emile Gagnan actually invented this device.