Armageddon (PPV)

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to navigation Jump to search


~ Jim Morrison, doing "The End" lyrics.

“Hmmm... Like Sable's buttocks!”

~ Sting, in response to Jim Morrison.
The WWE Armageddon logo.

Armageddon 3000 is the end of days, period! The only match scheduled for the card was an anarchy match, in which 4 inmates masturbate with each other until they can walk out of the hell in a cell and retreive the Anarchy symbol located on top of the arena.


The following inmates participated:

  • Bill Goldberg: The Spearing, Jackhammering, Murdering, Bald-Headed, Adolf-Hitler-Killing Jew of a gun! Also a man who will put his 173 gazillion-0 win-loss record on the line.
  • Jeff Hardy: The Swanton-Bombing, Twist-of-Fating, Risk-Taking, Girl-Kissing, Slutty creature of the night! Hardy looks to defend his WWE Championship for at least one day, and (for once) more than one month. Includes face paint and maxipad.
  • Sting: the Scorpion Deathdropping, Scorpion Deathlocking, Scorpion Fan-Favorite, Scorpion Fall-From-The-Asyluming, Scorpion Everything man who was as sick and twisted enough to come up with this match, resulting in, like anything else he did in his life, 20,000,000 fans in attendance.
  • Chyna:The Ninth-Wonder-Of-The-Worlding, First-Female-To-Enter-This-Variation-Of-The-Hell-In-A-Cell-Matching, Bombshelling, Eye-Candying, Don't-Treat-

Me-Like-A-Woman,-Don't-Treat-Me-Like-A-Man,-Don't-Treat-Me-Like-A-No-Man,-Just-Treat-Me-For-Who-I-Aming female powerhouse who obviously took heavy doses of steroids to earn all of the above traits.

Anyway, the match all started when Jeff Hardy was doing his entrance and he got Speared the crap out of by Goldberg. Goldberg then Jackhammered him and nearly retrieved the Anarchy symbol when Chyna did the rump shaker all over Goldberg's face, blinding the living daylights out of him with her big, shiny, white butt. All of a sudden, Sting blew up the entire building, and somehow collected what he thought was the Anarchy symbol, but in truth, it was Chyna's thong! Sting then swore 5,821,903 times before receiving numerous "WHAT?" chants from the crowd and leaving the arena to search for that stupid Anarchy symbol. Hardy, meanwhile was busy trying to get his brother, Matt Hardy to get his fat self off. Afterward, Hardy found the Anarchy symbol, but got extremely pistol because of the fact that he lost his title belt, yelling in the camera man's face before walking off with serious migraine from the retardedness of the match, but also going down in the WWE's fake-as-your-mother record books as the first-ever man to beat Goldberg. 173 gazillion-1!