Army of Darkness

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“When I found out that Army of Darkness wasn't aknowledged as one of the greatest films of all time, I lost faith in humanity and shot myself.”

~ Kurt Cobain on the sheer insolence of the American Film Institute.

“The American Film Institute consists of INFIDELS! I came in buckets when I watched Army of Darkness. All Citizen Kane made me do was stone a bunch of journalists to death.”

~ Saddam Hussein on Bruce Campbell's superiority over Orson Welles

“Hail to the King, baby.”

~ Bruce Campbell on Army of Darkness

Army of Darkness was a movie directed by Sam Raimi in 1993, though it's release unto mankind has been prophesized as far back as 1337 B.C. Several religions and Sumarion death cults have aknowledged the release of such a movie for centuries, and was commonly known that it would be the Greatest Work Mankind has ever Accomplished. However, the lack of praise given to Bruce Campbell for such masterful work has had several negative repracussions, several of which have changed the face of the modern world altogether as we knew it. In 2005, an online poll voted the lack of attention garnered for Army of Darkness "The 1# Worst Decision Humanity Ever Made for Itself".


The story has been interpretted differently by many scholars to have heavy symbolism and many allusions to the course mankind has taken in recent years. Some, such as Irish playwright Oscar Wilde, believes that the movie alludes to every major achievement accomplished by means of literature, while others, such as George Lopez, believe that the movie shows inner conflict within a person's soul. Well known historian Deadpool claims that the Army of Darkness contains the very meaning of life itself within it's storyline, while Stephen Spielberg says that he observed traces of what he believes to be the key to creating a highly advanced religion that will unite the world. Both Bruce Campbell and Sam Raimi have declined any comment towards these claims.

Events caused by the ignorance of the American Film Institute[edit]