Arthur C. Clarke

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Arthur C. Clarke swimming in the Indian Ocean

For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Arthur C. Clarke.

“If I didn't exist, I would have invented myself.”

~ Arthur C. Clarke on Arthur C. Clarke

“There's nothing more natural than the love that exists between Arthur C. Clarke and a small, small Sri Lankan boy.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Arthur C. Clarke

“Three Arthur C. Clarkes in geostationary orbit would cover the world's need for shiterature”

~ Isaac Asimov on Arthur C. Clarke

“Do you remenber that old T.V. Show, "Arthur C. Clarke's Mysterious World"?”

~ The Divine Comedy (The Band, not the book) on Arthur C. Clark

Arthur C. Clarke (the 'C' stands for Credibility) also known as Lord Kattomeat, the 13th Baron von Kattomeat is a scam artist par excellence. Born in MyHead, England before anything interesting was invented, his first scam was as part of the "Artful Dodger" Gang, stealing the Crown Jews (The Ones With The Gay HATS) of England.

In 1942 he successfully claimed to have invented the typewriter and underwear, whilst less than a year later he claimed water was based on one of his earlier ideas. During the 1960s "his ideas" included the Beatles, assassinating Kennedy and landing on the Moon.

He was last heard of living quietly (with 37 Sri Lankan boys in hotpants) on an island in the Indian Ocean, persuading people that he is an author and not a paedophile. He eventually disappeared in 2008, when demon-aliens attempted to nuke the island after all the adults have left. It's believed he now resides in the Horsehead Nebula and reigns as an overlord over the souls of all the little boys killed by the Baron Harkonnen.

Things Arthur C. Clarke claims to have invented[edit]

Arthur C Clarke is a world famous fortune teller and a Crystal ball fortune teller who lived his past life in a small island with nice boys at the indian Ocean. The weed in the small country is strong stuff so he came up with pretty good stories which more scientist work their ass off and invented after reading his books.

Arthur C Clarke's Laws of Pro Gaming[edit]

After inventing the Nintendo PissCube 64 in 2389, Arthur C. Clarke formulated the following three "laws" of pro gaming:

  1. When a distinguished but elderly pro gamer states that the game is crap, he is almost certainly right. When he states that the game is worse than 50 Cent: Bulletproof, he is very probably wrong.
  2. The only way of discovering the limits of the possible is noclip.
  3. Any sufficiently advanced skill is indistinguishable from hacking.

As the laws get shorter in a vertical manner, it has been suggested that Arthur C. Clarke also invented the Triangle.

Books by Arthur C. Clarke[edit]

..and remember computers are your friends.
  • 2001 BCE: The Odyssey
  • 007
  • 0
  • 1
  • 2
  • 2001:A Space Idiocy
  • 2002 (The Sequel)
  • 2000 (The Prequel)
  • 2010
  • 2061
  • Slightly later in 2061
  • 2100 (2001 The Thirteenth)
  • 2121 (2001 The Thirteenth Part 2)
  • 2187 (2001: The Final Chapter)
  • 2543 (2001: A New Beginning)
  • 3001 (2001: Frank Poole Lives)
  • 3060 (2001: The New Blood)
  • 3542 (2001: HAL takes Manhattan)
  • 4000 (The Monolith goes to "a" "theoretical" "hell resembling dimension": the final 2001)
  • 20XX (2001 X)
  • 20,001 (2001: Death of an Original Idea)
  • Infinity + 1
  • 01000010 01101001 01101110 01100001 01110010 01111001
  • Bar-Mitzvah
  • the Scientology Bible
  • Toenails: The Ssecond Coming
  • Those little slips of paper that come in packing material(an autobiography)
  • The Nine Billion Names of Fred Willard
  • The Aliens Came and Made Our Children Evolve, then all the adults die
  • The Revenge Of Hitler And His Nazi Supporters
  • All The World Is Mine Not Yours
  • Life Of A Turtle Autobiography

See also[edit]