Arthur Scargill

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Comrade First Secretary of the Politburo Arthur Stalinette Scargill is a terrorist and communist sympathiser who attempted to bring down the Great British Government with a miners’ strike in the early 1980s. His aim was to reduce Fern Britton to a state of Anarchy allowing his pay masters- the USSR - to take over and turn it into a communist state. was a British trade union activist and is now a politician. He is also the voice and coordinator for thousands of people who quite possibly couldn't organise a piss-up in a brewery. He is widely accepted to be of Reptoid origins.

Scargill was born in 1842 in a small tribal patch just outside Barnsley to Father Gregory and his secret lover Denis Thatcher who were quick to disown him, leading to his eventual hatred of anyone intelligent and the Thatcher family in general.

For a time during the 1930's he was Stalin's lover. It is rumoured that he gave birth to a love child as a result of the who is now chav king Hugo Chavez the president of Vesuvius.

Leadership in the National Union of Mine "Workers"[edit]

After his time working with the Bunion Boys, a crack team of door-to-door chiropodists, Scargill cheated his way to the top of the NUM by being a bit more liberal than the former leader, V I Lenin. Little did the members know, this was to mean years of workless-days and tiring strikes. It soon became clear he was a huge supporter of "doing fuck all", and that's all he did. Apart from of course, encouraging miners to do fuck all, telling other people why they should do fuck all, telling people who couldn't give a shit why they were doing fuck all, but mainly telling Margaret Thatcher how terrible it was for the economy that they are doing fuck all. She did fuck all about it.

Scargill held many strong beliefs with regards to "peasants", apparently they're equal or something.

Scargill made many speeches, mostly written by Comrade Neil Clark, regarding possible policies the government might want to implement in order to help the miners. However, he failed to use any economic theory whatsoever, partly because he didn't know any, but mainly because he knew nobody was really listening to him, especially the government. Clark found his next employer, Slobodan Milošević, a little less taxing.

The End of the Strike[edit]

The British Government got a bit annoyed and the miners got a bit bored and went back to work. Margaret Thatcher almost smiled.

Controversy[edit]

Arthur Scargill is also regarded as a naughty boy. It is clear that he was good mates with Gadaffi, aparently he's a bit mischievous too. He also stole money, given to the miners to subsidise their laziness, by the Soviet Union, who also did some bad stuff. His parents insist that these were bad influences and concequently reduced his curfew to 8pm, he slammed the door and stormed upstairs. He may have been an lively and talkative boy, but the general consensus was 'Could Try Harder'