Ashe

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Bouncywikilogo8.gif
For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Ashe.

Ashe "Can't you see I'm picking my nose" Dalmasca is a female character created by Tetsuya Nomura in 2005/2006. Nomura created her to star in a Role Playing Game named 'Zork 4: More dungeons and other RPG-things', but he instead by accident sent her to another dimension with the scientific name Final Fantasy XII. In this dimension she was added to the family of Dalmasca, ruling over the state with the same name. Tetsuya followed Ashe to the FFXII dimension, and really enjoyed watching the miserable life of Ashe, so he decided to make a game about her life, named Final Fantasy XII. While working on this game Tetsuya has been accused of "lack of nudity" by several Final Fantasy X-2 fanatics. Nomura defended himself by telling his fans that since Ashe is a princess, she needed to act mature and responsible, and she shouldn't be playing the "Tifa" or "Yuna". Experts have noticed Ashe prefers hot pants, rendering his argument useless.

Ashe's story[edit]

Ashe was created somewhere in 2005 at the age of 19. She was sent to another dimension in which she became princess of the Dalmasca Kingdom. She became princess after her parents, all her brothers, sisters, dogs, and husbands had been killed. Not much is known about the assaults on her family, but some experts believe many relatives committed suicide because of Ashe's immature/slutty behavior, or most notably, her nose-picking act and stuck-up attitude.

During 2005 nose-picking was very popular in Japan and was believed to be sexy when executed by women. After Ashe had been sent to the FFXII dimension she wasn't supposed to be sexy anymore, but she soon found out nose-picking and being sold for a cheap price wasn't hot in Dalmasca at all. As immature and slutty as she was, she didn't realize the consequences of her actions. Her nose-picking act made her really unpopular amongst citizens of Dalmasca as well as her sales (this made the markets very big in Dalmasca). In the end, she found out some people wanted to kill her for it, but then the people realized she had an incredbly short mini skirt that has been said to rival Yuna's from Final Fantasy X-2 (by mini, I mean "wow, she's wearing a skirt? I thought it was a belt!!" mini) and decided to change their motives from execution to perversion. The citizens were all like "Oo!" and "Ah!" when they saw this skirt, and decided they wanted to execute her after they realized she was a 'she' after all. So then she decided to pick up a thief from the streets named Vaan, and she told her people she was gonna marry him and make him their new king if they wouldn't stop complaining. This helped, and Dalmasca was once again a happy Kingdom. Unfortunately, in the end Arcadia did seem to exist, and Ashe got stuck marrying Vaan in the end.

Critics and nose-picking[edit]

Tetsuya Nomura told the press various times that girls actually do pick their nose very often, and that Ashe picking her nose made the game more realistic. Even though there are always exceptions, most of the people in the world believed him. Not only because Nomura created most of the world's girls, but also because he is known for devoting his life to studying girls in his personal Girl Research Center in Yokohama, also known as Yokohama Love Hotel. In fall 2006, Nomura ultimately claimed he wasn't responsible for the design of Ashe, or any other characters in Final Fantasy XII, but since his fans wouldn't believe him, this is considered as not true.


List of people Ashe is not named after[edit]

See Also[edit]

Illuminati Seal.jpg FNORD! 
This article is too close to the TRUTH!
So expect this page to be deleted soon by a vandal, a wikipedian, an arsehole or an admin, types of persons which often refer to the same.
See more about Fnord.