Asplode! The Musical
Asplode! The Musical is a musical film based the Las Vegas show, which was based on a musical play, which was based on a mostly non-musical movie, which was based on a romance novel, which was based on a novel about an idiot, which was based on an opera, which was based on a cigarette advertisement, which was based on the real life story of Gary Shandling who asploded in 1990. It is a story about a musical play based on insane ramblings of an asploding Nazi, which was based on World War II, which was based on World War I, which was illogically based on World War XVIII, which was based on the Koran, which is based on the Torah, which is considered by most n00bs and retards to be the authoritative source on how to asplode something.
Being a musical, most of the dialogue is sung and accompanied by dance. This would normally make the film unwatchable to all but gay men, retarded children, Abu Bakr Al Baghdadi, and the French. However, the director of this film wisely made it more palatable by adding plenty of kung fu, ninja, samurai, feng shui, karate, judo, Taoism, Legalism, and asplosions.
The film opens with an off-Broadway theatre where about 16 audience members watch a play about World War II soldiers, kitten huffing, and a large-nosed Angel of Mercy who saves the kittens. It is so badly performed, that half of the audience heads asplode.
Afterward, the producers meet in their accounting office to discuss their impending bankruptcy. While looking over their the huge losses, the accounting books asplode. The head accountant then suggests that they make an even worse play this time about Jesus drinking vodka and suddenly gets hypnotized by Voldemort and gets saved by Batman and the Flying Spaghetti Monster in order to make more money. The producers look at him for a moment in disbelief before their heads successively asplode.
The surviving accountants then decide to produce the most horrible play they can find, finally settling on one called "In Soviet Russia, Head Asplodes YOU!" To gain the finances for the musical, the accountants find all of the wealthy widows in town and makes love to them until they asplode. The finale for Act I culminates in 100 Chorus Girls singing in unison and kicking their legs in the air so high that they finally asplode.
On opening night, the audience is horrified at the blasé treatment of the Stalinic Purges and several brains a splode. This changes when the dancers start a heartwarming portrayal of the Russian Reversal Dance that results in all of the audience members reaching a state of spiritual transcendence. As a result, the show is a huge success and a coalition of the IRS and the Pope decide to destroy the all those involved in the play.
There are many, many more a splosions and the heroes are cornered and there seems to be no way out; when suddenly... as seen from space -- Majestic and Blue. Then it a splodes. The End.
- My Head A Splodes!
- All My Money, A Splode
- I Wanna Be A Sploder
- A Splode. Asplode? A Spolde!
- Looking for It
- When You Got It, A Splode It
- Along Came Asplode
- When I See You, My Heart A Splode (That Face A Splode)
- In Soviet Russia, A Sploded Heart See You!
- Were not gonna take it
- Wintertime for Sploding
- Earth A Splodes? What a Bore.
- My Head A Splodes! (Again)
- There's Nothing Like A Splode
Although this could possibly be the best movie ever made in the history (and future) of the Universe and all it's crap within it.[Citation not needed at all; thank you very much], it received 1 award (a Wilde), and nothing else as every critic a sploded.
- The scene with the 100 Chorus Girls asploding took 6 weeks to film (due to the 3 days it took to cleanup the stage in between takes) and over 10,000 extras (since all the extras died because they asploded at the end of each take).
- After a failed attempt to a splode Osama Bin Laden using the director's cut of this film, it has become part of Al-Qaida's arsenal and is planned to be used as a Weapon of Mass Destruction on September 11, 2008.