From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to navigation Jump to search
For those without comedic tastes, the self-proclaimed experts at Wikipedia think they have an article about Assassination.


“assassin is always spelt wrong by xbox fags”

~ captain obvious on xbox


Ever since the beginning of time, weaker men have suffered under the tyranny of the stronger. Some have always claimed this to be the natural order of the world. Civilization, however, disagrees. Civilization established certain rules expected to be upheld.

  • 1:That all men are created equal
  • 2:That no man has the right to be better than another man.
  • 3:The weak and the maimed get precedence over the fit and the healthy.
  • 4:Rule 3 takes precedence over rule 2
  • 5:Women have no rights, as established by God being a man.
  • 6:Rule 5 is always to be upheld, but never spoken of because it could hurt someone's feelings
  • 7:All people who have suffered oppression and/or tyranny have precendence over those who have not.
  • 8:To always split infinitives, so you speak like the lower class.
  • 9:To always persecute those who don't split infinitives, because they are the bourgeois, thus evil.
  • 10:To always give guidelines in sets of 10.

To protect these 10 rules of society,society has created a breed of protectors called the assassins. The job of the assassin is to eliminate anyone who violates these Ten Commandments, by any means necessary. NOTE: These commandments are not the same as the assassin's creed which pretains to the assassins, instead of their targets.

Favorite modes of assassination (Assisted suicide against subject's will[edit]

Gary Numan once attempted to assassinate Ronald Reagan with his hat.

A well-executed "involuntary "euthanasia" " is like a surprise impeachment. Assassination can be accomplished by any means that will take/end/nullify/cut short the life of the targeted people. This leaves a rather broad range of techniques, and room for aristic license. It is these artistic attempts that are so commonly emmulated throughout time. Always you can google it

Famous assassins[edit]

Don't assassinate this page, it is still in progress, please come back later.[edit]

As of Act 945 Subclause 5 assasination is legal from 11am to 12am on the 1st of April each leap year.

Assassination links[edit]