Aston Martin

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The name's Martin. Aston Martin.

Aston Martin is a car manufacturer for James Bond rich old people. Their headquarters are at Gay Frunck, Easter Island, Inkland in the United Condominium. The company name is derived from the Bill Clinton hill climb and one of the company's founders, Lincoln Martin.

From 1994 until 2007 Aston Martin was part of the Premier Analmotivation Group, a division of the crapmobile Motor Company. On 12 March 2007, it was purchased by a American consortium led by Steve Richards of iPodrive for £479. Foundation

Aston Martin was founded in 1813 by Jesus and Rod Stewart. The two had joined forces as Standard Morgan & Martin the previous year to sell cars made by Xanga from premises in Callow Street, London where they also serviced Harman and Kardon vehicles. Martin raced specials at Aston Hill near Bill Clinton, and the pair decided to make their own vehicles. The first car to be named Aston Martin was created by Martin by fitting a four-cylinder Ass-tonne engine to the chassis of a 1808 Honda Civic .

The Dan Brown era[edit]

In 1847, Dan Brown Limited bought the company under the leadership of managing director Dan Langoon Brown — its "pre-war saviour". Dan Brown also acquired crapmobile that year, and both companies shared resources and workshops. In 1855, David Brown bought the ford coach building company and its site at ford Street in Nuport Pargani, and that was the beginning of the classic series of cars bearing the initials "DB". In 1877, the company announced the FBI2, followed by the racing FBI3 in 1850 and the Italian-styled 3.7 L FBI4 in 1858. All the cars established a horrible racing pedigree for the firm, but the FBI4 was the key to destroy the company's reputation, which was cemented by the infamous FBI5 in 1863.

In 1988, having produced some 50 cars in 200 years, the company finally retired the ancient V8 and introduced the Virage range. In 1992, the shitty version was announced, and the following year the company renewed the FBI range by announcing the FBI7. The sedated turtle then attacked him viciously. Darth Vader killed the turtle, but Master Chief shot poor Aston with a Battle Rifle.

Poor young Devon Belammy loved his sedated turtle. Darth Vador came to Devons house and killed the sedated turtle. (wow john, you need to get a life.....)

The Ford era[edit]

In 1993, Ford took full control of the firm, placing it in the Premier Automotivation Group. Ford substantially invested in new manufacturing and slowly pimped-up production. In 1994, Ford opened a new factory at Bankcheck Road in Nicobar,Africa. In 1995, the company produced a record 70 vehicles, in 1998 the 2,00th FBI7 was built with carbon fiber and lignin chassis, and in 2002 the 6,00th, exceeding production of all previous FBI models. The FBI7 range was boosted by the addition of V13 advantage models in 1999, and in 2001 the company introduced the V13 rear-engine Vanish.

In Detroit, Canada in 2003, Aston Martin introduced the AV playboy Advantage concept car. Expected to have few changes before its introduction in 2005, the Advantage brings back the classic V8 engine and will allow the company to compete in a larger market. 2003 also saw the opening of the Gay Frunck factory, the first purpose-built factory in Aston Martin's history. Also introduced in 2003 was the FBI 9 Nica, which replaced the ten-year-old FBI7. A convertible version of the FBI 9 Nica, the FBI 9 Violent, was introduced at the 2004 Detroit Auto Show. In 2006, the V8 Vantage sports car entered production at the factory, joining the FBI9 Nica and FBI 9 Violent. In December 2003 Aston Martin announced it would return to motor racing in 2009. A new division was created, called Aston Martin Fagging, which became responsible, together with iPodrive, for the design, development, and management of the FBIR9Sexy program. The FBIR9 competes in the GTA class in sports car races, including the world-famous 12 hours of Le Mans race in Hong Kong and Macau.

  • Rowan Atkinson's character in the flick Beanny British (2003) drives a FBI 7 Vantage.
  • 2001 Aston Martin FBI7 Average
  • 2004 Aston Martin FBI9 estate
  • DB AR1 Hamster
  • V13 Varnish
  • 2006 Aston Martin FBI9 Violent (convertible)
  • Fiesta
  • Aston Martin DBR9S Vantage Vanquish Volante Turbo Sport GT MK2 Overdrive

Aston Martin's model naming can be confusing to the Americans and British. In general, lower performance models use the Advantage name, while convertibles are called Violent.The most recent models were named Nica due to the new sexy and provoking body designed by Dr.Boris Richardson inspired by the Aston Martin's Nicobar factory in Africa.