Australian Civil War

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“I didn't know thhere was an Australian Confederacy”

~ Tamia
Please Explain? P Handson's response when asked If she thought this photo shoot was a waste of her supporters funds.

The Australian Civil War was a battle over multi-culturalism that occurred between the One Nation Liberation Front (One Nation) and the Australian Liberal Front (Liberals).


The official start of the Australian Civil War was in June 1996. The war was started by a group of Australians, that we're pissed off that they didn't have a cool war that happened hundreds of years to go on and on about like their American cousins. Some critiques however argue that the wars true roots were started in the 1940's during the Battle for Brisbane.

The foundation for the war began when Pauline Handson's maiden address to Australia in September 1996 sparked great support from many people.

“Australia is in danger of an invasion, an invasion of chinkie-chinks and wog-togs who take away valuable jobs like running fish & chip shops, taxi driving and working in 24-hour convenience stores”

~ Pauline Handson on the state of the nation

Shortly after the charismatic General Pauline Handson formed the 'One Nation Liberation Front' (ONLF) and quickly began building up arms and supporters.

The June 1998 Erection[edit]

By June the newly formed ONLF took its supporting forces and began waging it's campaign in Queensland, this resulted in Gen Handson siezing nearly 25% (11 of 89 districts)of Queensland in a matter of weeks.

The ONLF acheives peak power[edit]

By October of 1998, the ONLF took the war to a national level as they launched the now infamous attack on a small aboriginal community in NSW. This gained her both respect from her supporters and contempt from her opponents.

“I don't like it!”

~ Pauline Handson on what she thought about her time spent in xenophobialand

An off-shoot of loyal supporters in Western Australia also managed to conquer 3 districts in local skirmishes in February 2001.

The Liberal counter-attack[edit]

Intitially there was little opposition to the ONLF invasion which continued to penetrate deep into Australian territory however by 1998 the 'Australian Liberal Front'(ALF) begain it's counter attack. By this stage Hanson's ONLF had seized territory as far south as canberra. Commander John Howtard leader of the ALF used a series of counter attacks aimed at confusing and capturing ONLF members by appearing to be part of the ONLF, the attacks were largely successful, although fierce fighting occured near the ONLF homelands near Ipswich where bloodied fighting by the ALF resulted in Hansun losing half of the land near the ONLF headquarters in Ipswich.

By 2001 a resurgence of the ONLF seemed imminent. In response John Howtard began throwing children overboard. This completely confused ONLF members and before they could respond a cease-fire had been drawn forcing the ONLF members to concede much of their territory.


Whilst officially they were only two official casualties (See David Oldfield, Lee Harris). Many say that due to a media coverup the death toll could be far higher.

“Who know's how many people died, I reckon it was at least 500 million Australians”

~ Jesus F Baby Christ on Australian Civil War

Post One Nation - Australia[edit]

A formal truce has never signed between the two fighting parties and from time to time minor skirmishes occur in parts of Eastern Australia such as the uprising of the Sydney race riots in 2006.

For their part in the war soldiers from the ALF received the highly sort after Australian Defence Medal. Whilst Handson was awarded the Channel 7 star of dancing in 2006.

See Also[edit]