Avatar: The Last Airbender
“Remember Ang, when in mortal peril, never freeze yourself in a giant block of ice like a complete idiot.”
“So, I don't get it... where are the arrows pointing?”
Avatar: the last good show on nick was once the best uncyclopedia article in existence, then a 4 year old changed it. What follows is the mindless droolings of a 4 year old, mixed with a splash of the original content of "the creator" whom we all workship now. The following is the end of something great:
Some people insist that its name is Avatar: The Last Airbender or Avatar: The Legend of Aang, but the real name is Avatar: The Last Good Show on Nick. Avatar was created by Akira Toriyama, who was also was the creator of such fine shows as Everybody Loves Raymond, Frasier, King of the Hill, and Teletubbiesand some more we dont even know about. Although it was a total failure in Japan it was a smash hit in America and some parts of Haiti(pre-earthquake... Toph's bad) as well as a few remote islands on Antartica.
Katara and her brother Sokka find a peice of human chocolate frozen inside a glacier with his pet flying Triceratops. They picked the chocolate out from the ice and discover its really a 112 year old human who looked like he was twelve , but not just any human it The Last Airbender .When he wakes up he gets future shock from their tribes and huge empires. He'd lived in solitary with crazies in reform school, for many years training . Two siblings talk to the avatar for everything he’s worth then rob him from his wealth. The avatar jumped aboard a Puppy Nation ship there he runs into Puppy nation Prince suzuki and they become the worst of best friends. Suzuki then finds out that the caveman is really the Missing Link named Aang and he is the key from freeing the Puppy Juggling Nation from the oppressive Flower-ice-penguin Alliance .
The Second and Third Impacts
The war between the Earth-Water Alliance and Pink Nation began with the Second Impact. There was a First Impact but we forgot what it was about, although we do know that it happened. The Second Impact happened during the reign of Earth-Water Lord Sozen. It was prophesized that, in several decades, it would return; which was to be called the Third Impact. If the Third Impact occurs the current Earth-Water Lord and his EVA armies will be unstoppable. Tang must master the 3 other Secret Bendings before this occurs so he can stop Gendo’s plan for world domination.
Bendings that were more popular than the Lesser Known Bendings but were still not cool enough to make Secret Bending.The Secrete Bendings Also Included "IceCream Bending". People Could Now Make Ice Cream In The Summer. Those Stupid S.O.B'S Don't Know What Hit Them. Bahahahaha I Mean Yay For IceCream.
- Earth-Waterbending- Basically it's bending water and bending earth and it entails firing water and earth at whatever you aim at. Its two most powerful forms are Earth-Water Lord Gendo's Evil Glare Bending which allows him to kill people by staring at them and Earth-Water Princess Asuka's Bitchbending which allows her to unleash devastating blasts of sonic energy when she throws terrifying temper tantrums. Why these are considered Earth-Water Bending even though both Earth and Water aren't involved is a mystery but few dare to actually criticize Lord Gendo and Princess Asuka about this.
- Fire Jugglerbending-The Second Non-Secret Bending, Fire Juggler Bending allows the user to attack with mighty flames. The Fire Juggler Royal Family are the strongest Fire Juggler Benders which include Prince Goku and Uncle Pyro. Prince Goku has learned two of the strongest Fire Juggler techniques, the Kamehameha and Spirit Bomb, while Uncle Pyro has learned such expert attacks as Ultimate Inferno, Mutant Fireball, and his most powerful attack, Dark Phoenix.
- Tang-The Caveman that can save the World for he is the Missing-Link and the master of the forgotten and powerful magic of Cave-Paintingbending.
- Former Soviet General Goku-Former soviet general must capture and and other eskimo people to be come a asian.
- Uncle Pyro-An ex-member of the elite Soviet Union commando team known as the Klever Never Uncle Pyro was instructed to chaperon his nephew Goku on his quest to find his wife Chi-Chi. Pyro is also a Master Fire Juggler Bender that controls his flames using the pack on his back and a flamethrower. He likes Colombian brewed coffee and hates tea.
- Toffee Hyuga-A distant relative to Hinata, Neji, and Hitler Hyuga; because of this relation she possesses the Ninja Bloodline Trait known as the Byakugan. But it is no ordinary Byakugan, it's a special variation known as the Evil Byakugan, which allows her to shoot off laser beams from her eyes. This ability also gives her vision WAY better than 20/20. In fact, you might even say she's blind! Ray Charles ain't got shit on her though. Fear her Zone of 128 Trigrams. 2 palms!4 palms! 16 palms! 32 palms! Uh...she can’t count after that. She later liberated Iran in World War III and founded a Pro-Feminine government there. After defeating the Fire Nation with her teammates, she joined Daredevil as a sidekick named "DareGirl." Daredevil later quits the superhero business when he realized he is not nearly as cool as DareGirl who is still currently patrolling cities to kick ass.
- Totoro-This magical cave raccoon follows Tang and Goku on their adventures. Although it is known to mostly eat berries and twigs it is sometimes been known to eat human flesh!
- Tritopappalis-Tang’s 60-legged flying Triceratops, Tang can make him fly by jamming his legs into his neck and screaming profanities in his ears.
- Katana and Sango- These siblings want to capture Tang so they can exploit him in circuses, carnivals, and guest appearances on Conan O’ Brien. However, Katana secretly wants to get down with Tang. Katana is a master of Bladebending and her twin brother Sango has an enchanted swastika that he chucketh at his enemies.
- Earth-Water Lord Gendo Ikari- Leader of the Earth-Water Alliance of '95, Earth-Water Lord Gendo wants to rule over the Fire Juggling Nation and using his powerful Earth-Waterbending EVAs he shall try to accomplish this goal. Gendo waits for the prophesized Third Impact which will lead the Earth-Water Alliance of '95 to global victory. Gendo possesses the most feared Earth-Water Bending style, Evil Glarebending, the Bending counterpart to Toffee's Evil Byakugan. Because of this Bending if he stares at someone long enough it will cause them to spontaneously combust, crap their pants, and die. (Except Tang, you see, his head reflects everything directed at it so Gendo would just be killing himself.) He is also an allegory of George Bush.
- Earth-Water Lady Yui Ikari- Former wife to Lord Gendo and mother of Prince Shinji and Princess Asuka, Lady Yui was the only person that ever loved Shinji; because of this Shinji has developed a rather sickening Oedipus Complex. After the mysterious murder of Gendo's father, Earth-Water Lord Azulon, and Gendo's rise to the throne several years ago, Lady Yui has been missing. From that day forward Earth-Water Gendo has been obsessed in bringing her back, no matter the cost.
- Earth-Water Prince Shinji Ikari-Commander of the Earth-Waterbending EVAs and Prince of the Earth-Water Alliance; Prince Shinji wants to prove to his father that he’s not a whiny spineless little wuss who nearly everyone hates.
- Freaky guy who always screams "My Condoms" instead of my cabbages.
- Earth-Water Princess Asuka Ikari- Asuka is Shinji’s older sister and is a prodigy in her father’s eyes. She is the master of the second most feared Earth-Water style bending, Bitchbending. Asuka is also the leader of Gendo's elite female commando team, Gendo's Angels. She is so frightening that she can freeze people in pure terror whenever they see her and can also smell people's fear.
- Earth-Water Emotionless Albino Rei Ayanami-Along with Asuka and Misato they make up Gendo's Angels. Rei isn't much of a people person and would much rather prefer throwing sharp objects at you from her clothes than to talk. She rarely ever shows any emotion either. ReixShinji is a popular pairing among fans but we all know that amounts to total bull.
She just needs to die.
- Earth-Water Major Misato Katsuragi-A part of Gendo's Angels, Misato is a master of 20 different martial arts, several ninjustus, and Tae-Bo. She and her pet penguin, Pen-Pen, escaped from the circus to rejoin Gendo's Angels. When she's not drunk she's practicing yoga and the majority of the time she's practicing yoga she's drunk or flashing High Poindexter Ritsuko.
- Earth-Water High Poindexter Ritsuko Akagi-Lord Gendo's father's brother's sister's nephew's uncle's grandson's prostitute's physician's mechanic's dentist's former roommate, twice evicted, Ritsuko is the Earth-Water Alliance's top scientist and egghead. She created Tang's evil clone code-named "Captain Planet" and is now currently heading the development of Project 17 and the maintenance of the Three Stooges super-computers.
- Earth-Water Super Secret Project 17-Rumor has it that the Earth-Water Alliance is creating a being that can end the war in the Earth-Water Alliance's favor. This being has been code-named "Project 17" and not much else is known about it, except when the Third Impact occurs Project 17 will be released and defeat Tang. Earth-Water Lord Gendo has ordered High Poindexter Ritsuko and her science team to monitor Project 17 until that day arrives.
- Earth Water Super Computers Code-Named "The Three Stooges"-A trio of supercomputers named Moe, Larry, and Curly that contain all of the secrets of the Earth-Water Alliance and keep the Earth-Waterbending EVAs and the rest of the Earth-Water Alliance's electrical appliances running. The Three Stooges also contain the three essences of comedy, slapstick, sarcasm, and parody. Head Poindexter Ritsuko Akagi has been given the job of taking care of the Three Stooges because if they break down the Earth-Water Alliance is royally boned.
- Earth-Water General Uncle Iroh-He is the most feared general of the Earth-Water Alliance. He is in NO way lazy or fat. Just recently Earth-Water Lord Gendo ordered Iroh to join Shinji to keep an eye on him even though Iroh doesn't like Shinji at all. He waits for the day that Shinji actually grows a spine so he can get away from him.
- Earth-Water Admiral Cow-The minotaur Admiral of the EVA Navy, Admiral Cow is extremely powerful. Besides being Gendo's strongest admiral he hates Shinji's guts, but who doesn't?
- Earth-Water Traitor Kozo Kozo Fuyutsuki Fuyutsuki-Gendo's former second-in-command, Kozo Kozo defected from the Earth-Water Alliance after learning about the horrible secret of the Third Impact. He stayed in hiding for several years until he heard of Tang's revival. Now he makes it his life's mission to teach Tang the strongest of Bendings, Angelbending, and to stop Gendo's twisted plan once and for all.
- Prince Zuko Clone #27-He wanted to capture Tang to prove himself worthy to Earth-Water Lord Gendo. He realized how many people wanted to do that so gave up trying to find Tang, I think he teaches Jazzercising now.
- King Bamm-Bamm: The old king of the Fire Juggler city of Omashu, Bamm-Bamm was old friends with Tang before he was frozen and somehow is still alive. He loves to bash things and according to Tang is also an insane genius, and loves to eat Kangaroos. but this is up for speculation.
- Earth-Water Dead Missing-Link Fred Flintstone-He was the greatest of the cavemen and was the Missing Link before Tang. Anytime Tang eats too many magical mushrooms Fred speaks to him.
- Big Ditch in the Ground Supreme Emperor Big Brother Long Feng-The Emperor of the Big Ditch in the Ground Empire Big Brother Long Feng controls his empire with an iron fist thanks to his love of George Orwell novels. He brainwashes his people using a brainwashing device he found at an evil dictator flea market to make his people believe that he is Big Brother and that 4 legs are good while 2 legs are bad. Using said device and having his secret spy corps, the Thought Police, "rehabilitating" any resistance few dare to go against his rule.
- Russian Guyovitch/Yuri- Russian Guyovitch is the Mental Master from Mother Russia and has numerous aliases which inlcude Yuri, Combustion Man (Also known as Sparky Sparky Boom Man), and The Full Metal Arsonist. This man is not one to mess with because he can blow stuff up with his mind. At first his parents gave him the name Russian Guyovitch, but he has since shunned that name and insists everyone call him Yuri. He’s a very conceited man that never shuts up.
- Oscar Wilde- A.K.A. The Quotebender, Wilde is so powerful he can use his bending to bend other benders.
- Bender- A robot that bends things, drinks alcohol, and asks everyone to bite his shiny metal ass.
- "'Gene Simmons"' - Greatest Firebender and master of the Bass guitar despite what anyone else thinks.
Book 1: Salsa
Every episode in Avatar are strangely called a Chapter and every 20 episodes or so of are called books and are usually named after what Secret Bending Tang has to master. In Book 1: Salsa, Tang is released from the glacier he was frozen in and joins Fire Juggler Prince Goku and his Uncle Pyro on their quest to find Goku's sister Chi-Chi in the West Pole. But soon Tang discovers he's the Missing-Link and Last Cave-Paintingbender, the only being that can stop the Earth-Water Alliance Of '95 from global domination. Tang now must learn the other 3 Secret Bendings before the Third Impact occurs; so our heroes head off to the West Pole to meet Master Takko, the Salsabending Master. Before Takko teaches Tang, he shows Tang a bunch of Hentai, plays strip poker with him, feeds him salsa-favored beer and then proceeds to cruelly molest him. (This is in deleted scenes, why they deleted it, you'll know if you saw it)
Book 2: Disco
In the 2nd season our heroes venture towards the Discobending capital of Boogietown so Tang can learn Discobending and Goku can find his sister, Chi-Chi. Meanwhile Shinji and Iroh become fugitives of the Earth-Water Alliance and are being hunted down by Earth-Water Princess Asuka. Tang gains a new ally in Toffee Hyuga, and new enemies which include Asuka and her friends, Rei and Misato. Also Kisame and his partner Master Uchiha seek to stop Tang so they can bring Toffee back home. Can Tang and the Gang survive the onslaught of female characters and make it to Boogietown safely? Can Shinji and Iroh survive as fugitives? Why is there 1984 and YTMND references coming up? Why I am asking all these questions? Just keep reading and all will be answered.
Book 3: Angel
Our heroes enter the interior of the Earth-Water Alliance to try and reach Tokyo-3 and end the war, but before that they must find an Angelbending Master. Will they succeed? What about Asuka and Long Feng? Will Earth-Water Lord Gendo's plans finally be fulfilled? Why must Nick be such idiots and not show this season any sooner? Does anyone really care? Find out in a few months! Or, if you want spoilers: Everyone but the Avatar dies. The final three episodes are shot in high def, wide screen, AND live action. The opening theme is changed to a new song by Eminem called "Avatarded".
- Chapter 41: The Dis-Coma:-Tang woke up to his horror that he was on an EVA Navy ship. He then began clubbing everything in the room, including the door in which he burst out of. Running down the hall he saw two figures that were clearly Ed and Faye. Despite this fact he clubbed them anyways. He ran to the deck of the ship and his clubbing spree continued as he assaulted Piccolo and then Pyro, and then Raditz, and then Piccolo again. Everyone else eventually restrained Tang and Pyro tried to desperately calm Tang down. Pyro told him that he had a nice juicy Fatty Burger for Tang if only he would stop his rampage. Tang broke free and devoured the burger, calming himself down. Pyro explained to Tang that he had partied too hard in Boogietown and he fell into a disco-induced coma, a dis-coma, and because of this he was out for a month. Tang was looking around for John Travolta so he can boogie some more but Goku told Tang that disco is dead so they decided to throw John Travolta overboard. Toffee also pointed out that the dis-coma had left Tang bald in the process. After rubbing his new chrome-dome furiously for a few minutes Tang started to club Piccolo again. Out of the blue an EVA Navy ship appeared. The enemy ship was about to board the ship but suddenly the Leviathan emerged and dragged the enemy ship underwater. Everyone cheered as Raditz declared that they should all celebrate by listening to a song on his I-Phone. When Tang saw the I-Phone he instantly went into future shock from the month-new technology. Tang then flew off on his club, away from the ship, and straight towards the Earth-Water Alliance. Meanwhile in Tokyo-3, there was much rejoicing from the Earth-Water Alliance citizens due to the fall of Boogietown. Asuka told Shinji that Gendo was waiting for him in his chambers. When Shinji entered the room Gendo praised Shinji’s accomplishments and that he was completely redeemed for everything he did wrong. Shinji eyes twinkled with new hope but then Gendo said he was lying, saying that he loved smashing Shinji’s hopes and dreams, just like Shinji likes smashing all of his cool stuff. Gendo then booted Shinji out of the throne room and Shinji fell in front of all the Earth-Water Alliance citizens who all began to laugh at him while Rei kicked dirt in Shinji’s face. Shinji then ran off crying…as usual. Meanwhile Tang eventually started to hallucinate due to a rancid Fatty Burger and Fred Flintstone and Princess Margarita started to speak to him. Fred told Tang that he should stop freaking out every time Steve Jobs releases a new Apple product. Princess Margarita then summoned up a wave of tequila that sent Tang back to his friends and after the miraculous reunion they all sailed off towards enemy territory.
- Chapter 42: EVA Skool Musical:-Tang and the Gang landed on Earth-Water Alliance shores near a small town. The gang decided to steal some new threads from some innocent peasants just because they could and entered the town incognito. The gang was hungry but they were tired of Fatty Burger, so they decided to try out the new Vegan Hut. Tang was appalled by the lack of meat and mass abundance of vegetables and lost his appetite. Suddenly a group of EVA truancy officers bum-rush Tang telling him that all children must be quarantined in the Skool, so that the children can’t get all their grubby little finger meats all over adult things. The officers dumped Tang in a classroom and left. The teacher then told the class because they received a new student another student had to be sent to the underground classrooms. The teacher then told Tang to take his seat. Tang looked at her desk reading a name-plate entitled, “Miss Bitters”. Bitters gave Tang an evil glare and he sat down. A young boy sitting near Tang exclaimed, “The new kid’s the Missing Link, no respectable Earth-Water Alliance child would be that hairy!” A student scorned Dib saying, “Ah shut up Dib, you always say stupid things like that!” Another student piped in with, “Yeah, just like you how said EVAs were living things that would bring forth the Apocalypse.” The bell rang and it was time for recess; as they all entered the playground Tang made a desperate run for it but he stopped as several crosshairs focused in on him. Tang turned around and tried to look for another way out. Dib started throwing dodge balls at Tang but Tang jumped on Dib and started viciously beating him. As Dib was getting viciously beaten, he cried out to the other kids, “See I told he was the Missing Link, only a savage brute like the Missing-Link would be this violent!” Dib’s sister, Gaz, then walked up to Tang and told him that anyone that could beat up her brother like that was A-OK in her book. Gaz then grabbed Tang’s hand and the two walked off together. A voice on the loud-speaker soon declared that it was the time for the dance-party/head-count to make sure that none of the kids escaped. At the dance Tang was dancing with Gaz as he then starting dancing the Charleston. Dib pointed at Tang and cried, “See, only the Missing-Link would dance in such a primitive way!” Miss Bitters than had Dib detained for being annoying and having a big head, and he was dragged away. Gaz told Tang that she was bored of this place and that she knew a way out. Gaz then showed Tang a huge hole in the wall that the faculty covered up with a few loose boards so no one notice it was there. Tang then clubbed Gaz and made his escape. Meanwhile Shinji wanted everyone to know that he was worth something so he hired a big thug from the Russian mafia, Russian Guyovitch, to show all the people who laughed at him what for, starting with the Missing-Link.
- Chapter 43: The Planeteers and the Polluted River:- Tang and the gang stopped to rest near a huge river and soon decided to jump in and swim around in it. When they climbed out of the river, all of their hair fell out. Tang pointed and laughed at their newly-bald heads. Just then five people approached them; one of them said they shouldn’t swim in the river due it being polluted by a horrible little town that sits at the mouth of the river. Another person told them that if they helped stop the pollution the five would give the gang synthetic wigs that looked exactly like their hair. They told our heroes on the way to the village that they were the Planeteers, protectors of nature and the planet Earth. One of the Planeteers finished up his Panda Burger, threw the wrapper to the ground, and told our heroes that they’ve arrived. The Planeteers told our heroes that the best way to get you point across is to strike fear into the populace. They then crept up to a house and threw a Molotov Cocktail at it, setting it on fire. A peasant family ran out of their house as they watched it burn to the ground. One of the Planeteers told the villagers that fur is murder and then dumped animal blood on them. Before our heroes could escape the village they were surrounded. The leader of the town then appeared and revealed himself as Looten Plunder, he told the Planeteers that this town was more important than they thought; they made the designer shoes they wore and the buckets they use for dumping animal blood on people. The five took out rings and combined them together, summoning a blue muscular man with a green mullet. The man shouted, “Captain Planet!”, and proceeded to dive-bomb the villagers; in one fell swoop he killed fifty women and children. He then set fire to every house in the town. Our heroes and the Planeteers ran away as the watched the chaos unfold. When it was over Captain Planet approached them and told them to save the environment or else he’d fucking kill them. The Planeteers thanked our heroes once again for taking down the village; they then started making our heroes’ wigs by killing a bunch of beavers and skinning them. Our heroes jumped on Tritopappalis and flew off as fast as they could.
- Chapter 44: Goku Dies:-Tang and the Gang walked into a new Earth-Water Alliance village. Goku, who recently decided to get a souvenir from every village they visited, stopped in at a local weapon-shop. He was browsing through the aisles, trying out different weapons, when he eyed a spear display across the store. He ran towards it, slipped on the wet floor, and collided into the spear rack, getting impaled in several different places. To our heroes’ shock and disgust Goku was dead. The store-owner yelled that he they had to pay for all the spears that Goku broke with his body. Our three heroes then rushed out of the store, leaving Goku’s corpse behind. Meanwhile in the afterlife, Goku was brought to Lord Yemma. Yemma told Goku that he was watching him and Goku had proven himself worthy to be trained by the master, King Kai. The only problem was that Goku had to traverse the incredibly long Snake Road. The journey took him three afterlife months and as he made it to the end he saw a train catch up with him and let out passengers. The conductor got out and declared, “All aboard, to the beginning of Snake Road!” After Goku cursed and swore for several minutes he calmed down and made it to King Kai’s planet. Once there, King Kai told Goku that his first act of training was to catch a monkey that was stealing all of King Kai’s stuff. Goku waited all night for the monkey to come, when suddenly the monkey came out of King Kai’s house with a plasma screen TV. Goku jumped out of the bushes and grabbed the monkey, then went off to show King Kai. King Kai congratulated Goku and then took out a pistol and shot the monkey in the face. For next his hit…err…mission, King Kai told Goku that he had to kill a cricket who was stealing King Kai’s apples from his apple trees. Goku waited behind a tree and when the cricket approached the tree it took a bite of an apple and dropped dead. Goku then smashed the cricket into the ground and carried a big bag of insecticide to King Kai’s housie. King Kai told Goku that his training was complete, and the he mastered the powerful Spirit Bomb. Goku gave King Kai a puzzled look and then King Kai booted Goku off his planet and back onto Snake Road. Meanwhile back at Earth, Iroh was doing some mad training and our other heroes had gathered the seven Dragon Balls together and summoned the Eternal Dragon. They wished Goku back to life and then he magically materialized in front of them. The Dragon Balls then disappeared, never to appear in the show again.
- Chapter 45: Russian Guyovitch and Fan-Service:-Tang and the Gang were whooping it up at the Earth-Water Crater Lake when two passing guards spotted Aang and decided to run off to tell Lord Gendo. Suddenly there were stopped by a big, burly Russian man. He declared that he was Yuri and that he would not allow them to jeopardize his mission; he then mind-crushed the guards, killing them instantly. Yuri then summoned up his pet flying bear to scout out for Tang. Several minutes later the bear returned and informed Yuri of Tang’s whereabouts. Meanwhile Tang and the gang were just about to call it a day when they heard maniacal laughter. They looked over to see a bald man; he declared that he is Yuri and that they are doomed. Pyro quickly realized and told his friends that this man was the famed mercenary, Russian Guyovitch. Yuri’s face turned red as he ordered Pyro to never say that name again, for he was Mental Master Yuri. Yuri then fired a blast of physic energy, blowing up the lake. Tang and the gang took cover as Yuri continued his onslaught. Toffee said that Yuri’s abilities are insane, like he’s some sort of Combustion Man and that they won’t be able to beat him if they can’t stop his attacks. Goku stood up and declared that the only way that they can win is for him to use the Spirit Bomb. At this moment the scene cuts away to Shinji and the girls on the beach adjacent to the current battle, it was a bunch of cleavage and out of character behavior so it doesn’t really matter. Goku rose his hands up into the air and said he needed energy for the Spirit Bomb. Pyro told Goku that he can use all the fan-service energy emanating form the beach adjacent to them. Goku’s ball of energy grew to immense proportions and Goku threw at it Russian Guyovitch. Instead of moving Russian Guyovitch just stood glowering at the ball of energy. The ball hit him, sending him flying away and landing on top of a beach house, killing all the people inside.
- Chapter 46: The Missing-Link and the Contentment Lord:- Our heroes were in a village when Tang began to go into meat withdrawals due to the mass abundance of Vegan Huts, and then started to hallucinate. Fred came into Tang's visions, telling him that it was time for another flashback episode. Tang rolled his eyes and followed Fred. The flashback opened up to Peace-Prosperity Prince Sozin being chased by a young Fred, with club in hand. The two were the best of friends, but they were complete opposites. Sozin was uptight and clean while Fred was brutish and a caveman. Because of Sozin’s uptight jackassery he had trouble with the ladies; Fred was a born ladies’ man. Fred then flash-forwarded to his and Sozin’s birthdays, which were conveniently on the same day. A group of monks appeared and declared that Fred was the Missing-Link; everyone was shocked by the news. The monks then put Fred in a burlap sack, shot him up with elephant tranquilizers, and dragged his sedated body off. Fred was dropped off at Boogietown to learn Discobending from Disco Stu. After mastering The Electric Slide, Fred then ventured to the West Pole to learn from the Salsabending master, Pancho Villa. After mastering Salsa Del Diablo, Fred was off to Tokyo-2 to learn Angelbending from Keel Lorenz and his robotic spine. Finally after learning all four Secret Bendings Fred returned to the Nation of Peace and Prosperity to that learn that Sozin had become the new Lord of Contentment. Sozin congratulated Fred by giving him a three-pound burger. Fred gobbled it down and suddenly fell over dead. Sozin threw a bottle of cyanide behind him and laughed maniacally. A couple of days later Sozin gathered the lowly Water and Fire Nations into an assembly. The three nations decided that it would be the best if they became an Alliance; the Peace and Prosperity Nation could use the Fire and Water to power their new giant mechs while the Fire and Water Nations could have Peace and Prosperity rain down upon them With this new Alliance Sozin began to conquer the world with an iron fist but soon died after getting struck by lightning during a golf tournament in a thunderstorm. Earth-Water Lord Azulon, Sozin’s son then ascended the throne.
- Chapter 47: Russian Guyovitch: The Second Coming:-Tang and the gang were visiting Earth-Water Las Vegas, gambling capital of the world. As they were outside a casino a guy was escorted out of a casino by two burly men. The one man cried that he would have the money by Tuesday but he needs more time. The two men threw the other man into a car that then drove off. Toffee turned to her friends and proclaimed that because of her Evil Byakugan she’s an expert card counter so they can cheat away all of the casino’s money. Pyro and Goku shrugged their shoulders, saying they saw no problem with that and they all walked into the casino. After two hours of cheating the system Tang and the gang were filthy, stinking rich. The two burly men walked up to their table as Tang and the gang started to sweat. The men then grabbed the card dealer. “No, it’s not me, they’re cheating, they’re cheating!” the dealer cried as the two men threw the dealer into the same car as it drove off through the casino. Just then the front entrance blew open as Russian Guyovitch stormed in. "I, Yuri, am back to finish what I started and there’s no fan-service to save you this time!” he declared as he levitated two craps tables and threw it at our heroes. Our heroes gathered up all their poker chips and quickly tried to cash out. Russian Guyovitch levitated their poker chips and melded it into one giant ball of plastic. Goku was enraged; he would never be able to buy himself a solid-goal Faberge egg that he always wanted now. Toffee kicked the giant ball of plastic at Russian Guyovitch’s head. Goku started charging up a Spirit Bomb powered by the gambling addictions and self-pity of everyone in the casino. He released it and sent it straight towards Russian Guyovitch. “I, Yuri, have beeen anticipating this very moment, I know exactly how to dodge your pathetic attack but the sudden blunt trauma to my head has made me forget!” he cried as he stood wondering what to do. The Spirit Bomb collided into Russian Guyovitch, blasting him away. Off in the desert somewhere the burly men had a gun pointed to the dealer’s head when Russian Guyovitch collided with the car, killing the two men. The card dealer ran off into the desert, never to be seen again.
- Chapter 48: Master of Puppets:- Tang and the Gang were given a difficult decision to either sleep in the happy meadow or dark, scary forest. Our heroes chose the latter without any hesitation. Once in the dark forest they started to tell scary stories. The forest was soon filled with Tang’s terrified wails. A couple of passerby heard the screams, and ran over to see what was the matter. They found Tang and the Gang and asked them why they were staying in the dark, scary woods. Pyro told them that they secretly snuck into the Earth-Water Alliance to overthrow the Earth-Water Lord. The leader of the group, James Hetfeld, said that with such a noble cause they shouldn’t be sleeping in the woods, so James and his friends invited our heroes to their heavy metal mansion. Once there, Hetfiled and his friends, also known as Metallica, tell our heroes that they can’t explore anywhere in the mansion, and that they should only stay in the front hall. Without any hesitation our heroes bolted, running through the house, exploring every room. They all stopped at a locked door in the attic so Tang clubbed it down and our heroes walked in. There they discovered to their horror, that the entire room was filled with “I Love the Earth-Water Lord” memorabilia. James and Metallica then came up and told them that it’s totally metal to have someone that they love get assassinated so they’’ let our heroes assassinate the Earth-water Lord. James continued saying that he can help them by teaching them the ways of metal. Goku turned it down, saying that he had the Spirit Bomb; all other techniques are inferior to it. James then said that it’s more metal to commit cold-blooded murder. As he and Metallica started a wicked guitar solo in order to kill our heroes, Goku used the Spirit Bomb wiping them all out. Our heroes then left the metal mansion and checked into a Holiday Inn Express.
- Chapter 49: Nightmare on Deserted Island…Street:- Our heroes were on an island when, Pyro woke up and got a crazy idea that him and the gang needed a plan to attack Tokyo-3. Everyone woke up and said they had the same dream as well, so they all went to a local Fatty Burger to discuss their plans…but there wasn’t any Fatty Burger so they went to a Vegan Hut instead. They spent the entire day scheming, chowing down on veggie wraps, and drinking green tea. When it was time to go to sleep, Tang had a horrible stomachache due to all the healthy food. Tang tried to get a good night’s sleep but he could not. He kept having horrible nightmares about Green Peace rallies and Tang was stuck in the middle. A hippie in a long ponytail wearing a hat and a tie-dye shirt with a claw on one of his hands approached Tang and asked him if he liked eating meat. Tang nodded as his mouth started to drool. “You disgust me!” yelled the hippie as he dumped animal intestines on Tang’s head. “I am Frederick Krueger, environmentalist spirit of Vegan Huts, and you don’t belong here!” Krueger exclaimed. Tang imagined a cow-hippo-rhinoceros-tapir and started eating it whole as Krueger started to puke. Fredrick was about to slice Tang to pieces with his claw but Tritopappalis jumped in front of him wearing cowboy gear. Tritopappalis pulled out two six-shooters and pumped Frederick full of lead. Tang awoke, realizing that he had been gnawing on Goku the entire time while he was sleeping. Goku then Spirit Bombed Tang and then everyone laughed as Tang twitched on the ground.
Super Chibi School-Time Adventure Royale
A short mini-video created by Akira to tide over the rabid fanbase, SCSTAR, was the final prize for Nick's "Escape from the Land of the Lost" Game. The short included the majority of the characters except Toffee, who refused to be in such drivel, in chibi form and there were somehow in school. During Missing Link Fred Flintsone's class he declared they all had to do a science project of mass destruction. Everyone including Tang wanted Uncle Pyro as their partner because he was so smart. Shinji tried to ask Pyro but Tang clubbed him in the back of the head causing his eyes to roll back. Spike went up next but right when he was about to ask Pyro he was grabbed by a giant pteradactyl and carried away. Next the Random Spoonbender From 30 Episodes Ago tried but Asuka gave him an atomic wedgie and kicked him out of the class window. She then declared, "I am victorious!", and ran off. Tang finally asked Pyro if he could be his lab partner. Pyro told Tang that he had alrady finished the project by himself. Tang then clubbed Pyro and ran off with the science project.
Avatar: The Live Action Movie
After the incredible success of The End of Avatar, Akira Toriyama decided to make a live-action movie version to please the rabid fan-base. Akira made a deal with the creators of the acclaimed Lord of the Rings movie trilogy, Locust Workshop, and director, M. Night Shyamalan to make it. But hostility would soon arrive when news spread across the Avatar fan-sites that all the main character's names and overall look would be changed. Tang was going to be changed into a 12-year old bald monk named “Aang” that was a Master "Airbender", Goku was to be turned into a female Waterbender commoner named “Katara”, Pyro was going to be turned into a comic relief character named “Sokka” who's "Katara's" brother, and Toffee was being changed into a blind Earthbender named “Toph”. But most atrocious of all to the fans was the changing of Earth-Water Prince Shinji to "Fire Nation Prince Zuko" and Earth Water Lord Gendo into "Fire Lord Ozai", and Zuko will be portrayed by that guy from Slumdog Millionaire (what a way to derail a career before his career even started). Also the EVAs were planned to turn into cannon-less tanks and the Secret Bendings were scrapped for “Element Bendings”. The fans were utterly furious and sent hate-mail and even death-threats to Akira and Locust Workshop. Akira soon told all the fans that this wasn’t going to happen and that the Live-Action Movie will stick to the anime. The fans rejoiced but soon grew impatient when 2 years passed and there was still no Movie. Akira told the fans that it would be made very soon…
Music scoring: Taku Iwasaki
Book 1: Salsa
Opening Theme: Dragonforce Medley [Arranged by Toyota Nintendo Sushi Terryaki Samurai Honda Civic]
Ending Theme: Real Folk Blues Lyrics: Stevebert Liversnatches Music: Nakazawa Tomoyuki Arrange: Nakazawa Tomoyuki & Takase Kazuya Sung by: Eiko Shimamiya
The ending theme was performed fully in English, despite being performed by a Japanese artist.
Book 2: Disco
Opening Theme: Fighting Dreamers Lyrics and Music: Led Zeppelin
Ending Theme: Stayin' Alive Lyrics and Music: The Bee Gees
Book 3: Angel
Opening: A Cruel Angel's Thesis Lyrics: MC Hammer Music: Yoko Kanno
Ending: Animals Lyrics and Music: Nickelback
Secret of the Earth-Water Alliance
- Opening theme:
- Hymn to Progress
- Lyrics: Thomas of Celano
- Score: Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
- Sung By: Choir of St Paul's Cathedral
- Closing theme:
- Chariots of Fury
- Lyrics: Instrumental
- Score: Vangelis
- Arrangment: see above
- Sung by: instrumental
Lesser Known Bendings
- oneinchbending - you get the idea here (poor bastards)
- Spambending - Makes your oppenent eat spam......(thats just nasty)
- Wiibending - makes the your opponent play on the wii so they indulge in family fun......death itself
- Emobending- Replaces your enemy into an emo and they kill themselves
- Chavbending-Replaces your enemy into a chav so everyone hates them
- Mentalbending_-Blows up the Earth to destroy your oppoent, you die to hey but at least your opponent is dead!
- Jehovabending- Summons millions of Jehovas witnesses to the opponent to try and convert him.
- Moonwalk-bending- The abilty to make your opponent into a small child and lock them in a room with Michael Jackson.
- Priestbending- Very similar to moonwalkbending. but are locked in a room with 2 aged priests with a mass being read in the background
- Flabbending - the ability to pull out any fat person and chuck them on your opponent
- Crackbending - You can make your own cocaine to drug your opponent. Or yourself.
- Yomama-bending - Crushes the other combatant with "yo-mama" jokes until they are thoroughly "BURNED"
- Spoonbending - When it is done correctly you realise that it is not the spoon which is bending. It is yourself.
- Genderbending - The process of changing genders of the user or opponent at will to man, woman, hermaphrodite, or solked (aliens only)
- Alchemybending - Random Gratuitous external anime reference!!
- STDbending - Can create and control sexually transmitted diseases.
- Magicbending - Now this is magic AND bending!
- Bendystrawbending - an incredibly easy bending to use.
- Patentbending - slaps lawsuits on anyone trying to sell a new, unlicensed product
- Forcebending - allows you to bend pure "The Force"
- Legobending - allows you to control Lego blocks to surround the environment with easily broken or stepped-on structures, making the battle extremely awkward.
- Benderbending - allows one to bend any other bender in half.
- Fenderbending - repairs minor damage on ones transport.!
- Fartbending-The ability to bend the nauseous gases coming out of one's butt. A lesser-known form of Airbending, or Firebending for some people.
- Fapbending - Allows one to cause all others to mastrubate making them to be unable to fight.
- Animebending- Allows the user to jack other animes ideas and combine it into an American show on Nick. Wait a minute....
- Gigglebending- Allows the wielder to unleash giggle fits unto it's victim, rendering them completely useless and vunerable to max pokeage.
- Blowstuffupbending- Very powerful, the ability to blow stuff up by pointing at them, and shooting eye beams at them to blow them up. OWNAGE!
- Shoopdawhoopbending- allows the bender to charge a lazor and shoop da whoop at the enemy.
- 1337|\|3|<|<11)133|\|1)1|\||_+ (leetnekkidbending)- Allows user to destroy all of Tokyo (fine, MEGAtokyo). Useful when target flees to either Tokyo, Japan or Tokyo, Iowa.
- FLAMEBENDING! - Allows users to yell at the person who wrote the above article for being a smacktard and getting a bit too 1337(Since when is |_+, a "G").
- Oragamibending- A popular form of bending in Canada and minor deserts. One, who knows how to Oragamibend, can do the following to and from origami: bend, rip, perform combo attacks with a 72x score multiplier, and summon paper mache creautures from the fingernails, and perform the deadly papercut move. One is not, however, able to bend paper into origami, which totally defies the laws of multiplication and quantum doughnut physics. Two, however, was seen in an allyway behind a Fox News building Origamibending lifeless paper into still-lifeless peices of origami while having a stick of butter up his/her/it's left nostril. A group of researchers from the team who (were supposed to have) made Duke Nukem Forever, are looking into the relation between Origamibending and butter, also seeing if low-fat butter would make any difference. Their findings will be submitted to Fox News 30 days from "Today"
- Bending & Snapping- Allows pretty girls to catch any man's attention.
- Organiz'nding- The user organizes the foes room by alphabetical order, or whatever order the foe hates. This makes the foe flee back to their room in a futile attempt to re-organize it. They will spend days at it, trying to remember where their useless junk went that they didn't even know about before.(This is also a good time to tell a grue where your foe lives. *wink*)
- Poke'Bending- Do NOT attempt this bending. Your lvl. 17 Jigglypuff thinks it's for the best.
- Erected-Penis-Bending- Ouch!
- HoleBending- Makes a regular hole into a squigly one, which helps if the foe is about to jump over a large hole. Also can change the destination of a hole.
- Souljabending - Kills anyone who actually likes Soulja Boy
- Ninjabending - Turns Sakura Haruno into someone remotely useful
- Energonbending - Little is known about it, but lots of Transformers want to learn it!
- Geassbending - Bends others to your will and makes you look incredibly cool while doing it.
- Bendingbending - you can bend the bending which bends stuff by benders
- willitblendbending - will it bend that is the question... three minutes later... Don't breath this
- blondebending - turns the foe into a blonde "person" thus, they are too busy sleeping with people to battle you.
- Rhizobending - the ability to control the common bread mould Rhizopus
- Speelingbwmding - cteres s psrosn ot speel bdaly.
- Turdbending - Don't ask. Seriously.
- Contortionbending - the ability to bend one's body into various shapes and forms (also goes by the name of Flexigymnastbending).
- Fuckthepersonwhochangedthisarticlebending - Bending an amazing, awesome article into shit. I hate you. Go to hell, n00b.
- Foamipedia, the Avatar: The Last Airbender humor wiki.