From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to navigation Jump to search

The Origin of Awesomicity[edit]

Awesomicity is a measure invented in 1984 by a group of Belgian Scientists when they were p0sed with a question from a friend: "How awesome am I?"

At first, Awesomicity (later changed to the 'Awesome Index') had no specifically set scale. There were originally only a few levels of Awesomicity, consisting of 'not', 'very', and 'so' - which would then be followed by the term 'awesome'. In 1989, when two 'very awesome' people got in an argument about who had a higher Awesomicity and ended up killing each other, the scientific community had to move.

  • Scientists also believed that the low support of their 'Awesome Index' may have been caused by the indeterminate scale. So...

Measuring Awesomicity[edit]

The scientific community was divided on how to establish a numerical scale for Awesomicity. On one side, you had Great Britain, America, Asia, Germany, and Denmark, all who wished to set up a simple numbering system: 0-10, 0 being 'not awesome' and 10 being the 'ultimate awesome'. On the other side were the Romans, who preferred their numbering system. The third side, consisting primarily of Belgians, claimed there should be no upper bound due to the fact that there can be no "Ultimate Awesomicity".

Due to the lack of support of the Roman's Numeral System and the lack of Belgians, the community as a whole decided on a (0-10) scale, and formally changed the name to the 'Awesome Index'.

  • In informal settings, Awesomicity measurements of 'not', 'very', and 'so' are still commonplace.
  • Also, the use of the 'how many crayons can you shove up your nose?' method is very effective.

Calculating Awesomicity[edit]

The Awesome Index of a single person is relative to an external viewer's perspective of the viewed, leaving each person's Awesome Index variant through a range. Not only does this cause general confusion, but, to some lower-minded individuals, often causes Spontaneous Combustion. Spontaneous Combustion is the only known action that can completely obliterate one's Awesomicity, not to mention their skeleton.

Awesomicity for most people gravitates around a specific mean, but for some odd people (see George Bush, the Pope, and other high-profile characters), their Awesome Index can greatly fluctuate from day to day. But Awesomicity is an attribute than can be improved.

Many people complain that Awesomicity determination is entirely arbitrary, but they are wrong. There is a very clean cut process used to determine a person's Awesomicity. The simple formulat is Roll 4d6 + Intelligence Modifier - Idiot Rating = Awesomicity. This is according to the Rules of Life v.3.

Effects on the World[edit]

In the Belgian's attempt at advancing science, they managed only to provide another means of labeling and discrimination. In fact, before EU-wide measures were passed in 1994, employees could be fired for (quote) "Not being awesome enough."

In the United States, however, the Democrats saw the new label and decided to take advantage of it by absorbing the new minorities. These new additions left the Democrats so large that they could win any seat or election to government by a simple majority vote. But before the Republicans left office, they established a method of voting wherein specific votes may not be exactly specific. The first successful testing of this voting scheme was in Florida in 2000. Since then, security measures have been taken to discourage this method of voting in other territories, but by that time, most of America was hovering around a lower-middle Awesomicity, thus obliterating the Democrats stranglehold on the minority and thus the country.

A similar case occured in Rome, after they reluctantly adopted the Arabic Numeral System, when the Pope was elected on a purely 'Awesomicity-based' standard. This caused general uproar and all-around kitten-maiming violence. They are still recovering from the damage today.