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Awsworth (also known as Anusworth, Ainsworth, Alesworth to most people in Bangladesh/India when ordering random toss from call centres) is an over populated shanty town nestled between Ilkeston, Communist republic of Kimberley, and Eastwood Pirate Bay.


This ram-shackled town (technically a village) was originally founded by George Best in 1989 shortly after the collapse Berlin Wall - where he was allowed to defect from East Germany to England. After he found a suitable piece of derelict land, he proceeded to build 3 public houses all within staggering distance of his corrugated iron house which he allegedly carried on his own back from his former country.

Unbeknownst to most people (including its inhabitance) Awsworth is actually part of a human landfill region under the guise of Broxtowe. Back in 1729 the city of Shottingham was ripe with disease and dead bodies, prodomently from the rising gun crime problem. So the decision was made to push all corpses by hand into the valley of Broxtowe. Moss & weeds took root within hours and form the plush fields that can now be seen by anyone riding a low flying albatross.

Prior the arrival of George Best to Awsworth - the nearby railway line servicing sailors the Orient Express did not make regular stops here until its passengers lured by the stench of goat lactation (see beer) held the driver to ransom so that this aroma maybe investigated.