Ayn Rand (robot)

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Due to a technical problem, this article is at Ayn Rand (robot), the correct title for the article is Ayn Rand
Gimme a kiss!

Ayn Rand is a robot from the future made out of bees, and a major proponent of Objectivism. When cornered will read out introductory and intermediate economics texts in a flat monotone voice reminiscent of a younger Idi Amin, causing anybody in the vicinity to die of boredom.


Ayn Rand was birthed in Hull, England in 1922. She spent her formative years at an all girls comprehensive school. Known for her lack of humour, empathy and her caustic fashion sense, she was frequently bullied by both students and staff. She retreated in on herself, finishing school with only two O Levels, one in Needlework and the other in General Studies.

After leaving school and whilst still in her early teens, she was given to bouts of uncontrollable excess. Once even courting an aging Josef Stalin, unfortunately their relationship turned sour when he discovered that her female sex was absent, and in its place an elaborate impressionist portrait of Gustave Molinari wearing a fez. In her later years she regretted this experience and became a recluse, living with a colony of lepers, raccoons and bees in Mara MureĊŸ, Romania.

The prototype CPU for Ayn Rand, the OBJECTIVAC, utilized over 18,000 vacuum tubes, but only 64 bees configured in an 8x8 matrix.
Ayn Rand in her docking station, recharging

After a brief stint as a second-hand car saleswoman she was struck down by emphesyma and died a spinster at the tender age of 44, leaving her body to science. Her obituary was written by famous Irish novelist and one time carnival worker, Michael Collins.

She was reborn as a robot in the year 2050 after researchers under the deft leadership of Milton Friedman II managed to extract the essence of Rand from her preserved body and transplanting it into a robotic exoskeleton. By this time advances in nano-technology had made bees the choice of engineering material for the aspiring god figure.

Arch enemies[edit]

  • Leon Trotsky robot - also from the future made out of giraffes.