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Northern translation:Ey up luv! Get yers arse on t' Uncyclopedia, before Tom, Dick or Arry do or ye gunner get a thrapin'!

Good Queen Bess has inspired us to work on 46,124 articles since opening in January 2005.

Jolly well, old chaps. Before editing, please read the Beginner's Guide and browse the Big Five, if you will.
Colonisations for the week include Canada, Newfoundland, Australia and New Zealand. Rule Britannia!

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Lest we forget

August 8: For God's Sake Leave Your Bloody Cellphone Alone For 5 Minutes Day

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  • 1576 - The cornerstone for Tycho Brahe's Uraniborg observatory is laid. The first Borg was sighted 3 years later, some 4.7 parsecs away.
  • 1815 - Napoleon Bonaparte can't get any sig on the island of St. Helena.
  • 1876 - Thomas Edison receives a patent for his mimeograph, which duplicates mimes.
  • 1940 - The German Luftwaffe begin bombarding Great Britain with international text messages carrying sky-high roaming rates.
  • 1961 - Birthday of U2's The Edge, as well as his twin brother, The Corner.
  • 2004 - Fay Wray, American actress (b. 1907), passes away, after slipping on an enormous banana peel.
  • 2008 - Wait just a sec, I have a call. Hello? Yeah. Yeah. No, they're right here. I don't know, something about an anniversary. Hah, yeah, I know. And that stupid-looking hat, yeah. Oh, sorry, I gotta let you go.
  • 2009 - Shit, sorry, this is the last call, I promise. Hey. It's on the counter. It's on the counter. On the counter. The counter. On the - it's on the FUCKING COUNTER! THE COUNTER! ON THE COUNTER!

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Try to use it in your conversations. Knowledge is power.

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Did you chaps know...

  • ...that I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each?

Do you blimey care...[edit]

  • ...that it takes a great amount of sexual commitment to get a computer turned on, but once your computer is properly aroused, it can offer you some of the greatest sexual thrills you may ever experience?

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United Empire Loyalist of the Month

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GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.

Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!

It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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