Baby recycling

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Baby recycling, also known as "scrunning", is the practise of recycling the natural resources found in babies for use in pies, cones, or notepads.

Baby Recycling History[edit]

Origins of Baby Recycling[edit]

Baby recycling was invented in 1980 by Al Gore, as a method of conserving the environment. Al Gore, seemingly forgetting that babies are a poor energy source, suggested that they would make a "phenomenal alternative" to fossil fuels. Immediately after delivering his speech, Mr. Gore promptly forgot about the proposal, but left illustrations of the basic principles projected onto a screen. These illustrations were copied by Albert Einstein, who was employed as a janitor at the time.

For the next decade, Einstein made adjustments to the drawings, eventually resulting in a plan for an enormous recycling facility within Alcatraz. The reaction of the baby recycling would be exothermic, and utilise both the Zzyzx Peace Theory and the Theory of Relativity. However, upon further reflection, Einstein decided that the latter theory was irrelevant, and eliminated it from his plans.

Unfortunately for Einstein, the financial director of Alcatraz, Linus Torvalds, decided that it was "impractical". Some suspect that he was unfairly biased, as the drawing was licensed under the GPLv3.

See also[edit]