Bad-Ass: The Movie
Bad-Ass: The Movie is a totally bad-ass movie about bad-asses(or bad-assi) through out history and how totally bad-ass they were.The movie was directed,written,and starred in by professional Bad-Ass,Clint Eastwood
May contain spoilers and killer babies. The totally bad-ass story was based on real(and totally bad-ass) history. At the beginning of time many bad-asses were made to have bad-ass battles with evil and other bad-assery.These bad-ass Legends were:Bruce Lee,Chuck Norris,Clint Eastwood,Kurt Russell,Jet Li,and Mr.T. In a fit of bad-assery,these bad-asses had to escape from New York,L.A.,and Mushroomland,kick dirt in Harry's face,Walker a Texas Ranger,challenge Bull-O Yung and The One(along with The Other One) to a game of death,and finally kick the A of The Team.After this totally Bad-Ass crap,Denis Leary challenged them to a bad-ass drinking contest(for he too was a bad-ass),he totally out-drunk them and they all slipped into comas after an incedent involving Joe Pesci (yet another bad-ass) and a baseball bat.They came back to life bad-assly in the Bad-Ass 90's and had to fight the Evil Hitler Clone Society along with Stephen Hawking and his bad-ass Wheel-Chair Grues.The End.
Clint Interrogating a Snake On A Plane
CLINT: I'm gonna kill you, punk! Where's the bomb?
CLINT: (slams snake against wall and points gun at him) I want ANSWERS dammit!
SAMEUL L. JACKSON: (busts through the wall of the plane) I have the MUTHAFUCKIN' bomb on this MUTHAFUCKIN' plane!
CLINT: AAAAAAAAAH! (shoots everybody)
SAMEUL L.JACKSON: I have had with the MUTHAFUCKIN' me dying on this MUTHAFUCKIN' plane!
CLINT: AAAAAAAAH ARRRRR,Punk! (Shoots him again)
Bruce Lee VS 10,000 dudes and 600 grues
BRUCE: Atatatatatatatatataaa! (everybody is dead)
The Drinking Contest
MR. T: Rocky Balboa? I pity da foo!
MR. T: Yo Mama? I pity da foo!
MR. T: Your neighbor's cat? I pity da foo!
MR. T: Myself? I pity me!
MR. T: What'd joo just say T-foo?!
MR. T: That's right, me, I pity I! (MR.T gets in a fight with MR.T)
Leatherhead, Leatherface and Clint
ClINT: I got a cajun,mutated alligator on my left and a guy who wears people on my right! Damn which one do I shoot?
HARVEY "Two-Face" DENT: You could flip a coin?
CAPTAIN OBVIOUS: You should pick one or the other!
SAMUEL L. JACKSON: I have had it with these MUTHAFUCKIN' decisions in this MUTHAFUCKIN' sewer!
RAPHAEL: Who ate my goddamn pizza?
MICHAELANGELO: Total Retardaziods!
DONATELLO: (clicks random buttons) If my invention is correct...DAMN STRAIGHT!
LEONARDO: These bastards stole our pizzas! Turtles fight with..honor? Wait,no. Turtles fight with excessive force!
(Leatherhead, Leatherface and Samuel are all killed by the enraged turtles.)