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The Badgeron[edit]

Its Discovery[edit]

Badgeron was first discovered in 1987 by a professor of quantum science, Prof. Naylor (he enters the room instantly by "borrowing" energy from the universe and paying it back once he arrives and doesn't have to traverse the space in between). Badgeron was at first dismissed by all but few of the high ranking physicists of the time. Badgeron is the 15th state of matter. When observed at the atomic level the molecular arrangement of substances in the state of Badgeron amazingly resembles a badger.

The Badgeron state at a sub-atomic level

Its Creation[edit]

Prof. Naylor had found that he had discovered the state of Badgeron when a photon was created after colliding with an electron in a piece of glass (bear in mind that this photon is NOT the same photon as the one which entered the glass, it was in fact an identical but totally different photon). This results in some of molecules arranging in one direction emitting white light, and the adjacent molecules face the opposite direction emitting no light. This causes the badger like effect that is often noticed when peered through an electron microscope.

However, a material in the Badgeron state is not visible under normal conditions, but when created in a caravan park, in Devon, on the day after a full moon the Badgeron is said to emit a faint blue light - hence the term "Once in a blue moon". No one has yet explained this unusual phenomenon, but respected quantum scientists have theorised that it may have something to do with the interaction of quarks subatomically.

PLEASE NOTE the Badgeron state is created at over 8000K (Kelvin) and can cause considerable burns if touched. Scientists say this often feels like a badger biting you with a mouth full of fire. The Badgeron state is not to be reproduced unless supervised by a responsible adult.

Practical Applications[edit]

The energy of the Badgeron state has already been harnessed and is the energy force behind lava lamps and other 60s memorabilia. When a single particle in Badgeron state rushes past a white board, the illusion of ink being created is formed, usually forming subliminal messages which confuse the user.
This application is currently being used by the governments of the USA and Russia to help in promoting propaganda in future wars.
There is a way to tell whether it is real board pen ink or not. This is by listening intently. If squeaking sounds are emitted then it is a particle in Badgeron state; not real board pen ink.

It is now known that a particle in badgeron state is coloured
differently depending on how much enery and heat is put into it for example: if you want to display red ink you need to pump 200,000,000,764,000,874,000,000,780 elephunkels which is about 18,847,632 lemonisms into it and for purple; almost 200,000,000,853,000,765,000,000,429 elephunkels or 19,852,628 lemonisms! This also determines how high or low the squeak is. This is why green badgeron particles are much more audible than, say red ones because they attract badgeron particles with a much higher energy ratio.