Ballarat

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“I lived there once, Then an angry mob ran me out.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Homophobes in Australia

“For a while there, I thought that I was on a big set for another Mad Max movie. Wish I knew that it was an actual city before I killed all those mutants.”

~ Deadpool on the time he spent in Ballarat
Mayor of Ballarat, Judy Verlin in a press conference

Ballarat is a hillbilly base somwhere near Melbourne, Australia. DO NOT GO THERE. Or be eaten by the Flying spaghetti monster. Ballarat was founded in 1973BC by Sid Vicious and his Pokemon shortly before they killed that bastard Sonic the Hedgehog. The City was then left abandonded before a tribe of Aboriginals set up a centrelink and decided not to leave. During the Reign of Chairman John Howard. Ballarat was a site for Nuclear testing, resulting in the entire populace becoming Zombies right up untill last Tuesday, When Keanu Reeves opened up a portal in space time and sent their Zombie asses back to Finland. As an apology for Keanu Reeves killing everyone in Ballarat except That Gay, Black Jesus single handedly repopulated Ballarat, unfourtunately, one of them became the anti-christ and joined forces with Deadpool to totally destroy man kind. The entire event can be re-played on Xbox because in Ballarat, that's all that anybody owns. Ballarat is now a toxic wasteland, no, not Teenage wasteland by The Who, Toxic, you moron.

That told him


The Battle of Eureka[edit]

After Black Jesus Gave birth to Twenty Thousand children using his right Testicle, he realised one had originated from the left testicle, the infected one. The slightly purple baby then bit black Jesus on the ass and killed him. As Black Jesus fell, Deadpool arrived on a scooter and ate Half of Black Jesus' children. Zeus then shoved a lightning bolt up the Anti-Christ's ass, the force from the lightning bolt combined with the mutant DNA and turned him into Tom Jones. Deadpool then fornicated Zeus with a Duck causing him to die of AIDs. Your Mom tried to help out but she was just too damn fat, and she squashed the entire southern hemisphere, except Fiji. So all the Asians moved to Africa and instantly died without communism or internet. The Starving Africans then fed on the corpses and became superheroes, took over Canada and opened up a chain of fast food resturants called Burger King. So now you know

The Anti-Christ shortly after his transformation


Resons for Visiting Ballarat[edit]

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Famous People from Ballarat[edit]

  • Tony Lockett, a man who made a living by walking five steps forward and kicking a ball ten times a day, once a week.