Banana Blitzkrieg

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search

It was April 1944, Adolf Shitler just became the ruler of Fürmany. To celebrate Shitler invited Spike Lee over for dinner...

The Beginning[edit]

After Dinner Shitler demanded Spike Lee to let him "take a huge fucking shit" on Spike's chest. Spike Lee refused to cooperate with Shitler and began to leave. Once Spike stormed out into the lobby, Shitler and his men caught up with him and began what and eye witness described as "Beatin' that pussy up." Shitler personally delivered the final blow to Spike's head with a dildo. The guards dragged his body away as Shitler proclaimed: "You dare refuse to receive my shit, I will rip of your fucking heads and shit down your fucking souls!" Spike Lee turned out to be a "Furfag", which made many Furfags see this as an act of discrimination. In May of 1944, Furfags in Fürmany began protesting outside Shitler's palace. This infuriated him, so he sent his personal guards to "Fuck shit up!" Shitlers guards began firing shot gun shells into the most crowded areas of the protesters. 69 protesters (bow chicka bow wow) were killed and hundreds were injured. This act of violence caused a powder keg to explode in Fürmany and began what the locals have called "The Banana Blitzkrieg"

Adolf Shitler's Paranoia[edit]

Jewish couple rounded up during the Banana Blitzkrieg

July 15th,1944, Shitler became paranoid-expecting his Assassination any day, Shitler began rounding up furfags all over Ferlin.

Shitler Assumed all furfags were plotting against him, so he had them publicly sodomized and executed with the same dildo he used to club Spike Lee to death. Furfags conducted secret meetings in the woods about "The Assassination of Adolf Shitler" also know as "Operation ValkFurry" This was led by Mittens Von Stauffenberg. Mittens was one of Adolf's most trusted generals. Mittens despises Adolf because during Yiff Shitler refused to give Mittens a reach around. As this plan was unraveling, Shitler was executing as many furries as possible, even though some of them were Furverts and not Furfags. From July 15th to July 19th Shitler killed over 500,000 Furries. The Rebels decided the following day they had no choice but to execute Operation ValkFurry the following day, but not before Yiffing.

Operation ValkFurry[edit]

Operation ValkFurry was in affect on July 20th, 1944.

With Operation ValkFurry in affect, Mittens von Stauffenberg went to a meeting Adolf Shitler was holding to purge the land of Furfags. Operation ValkFurry plot was to replace Adolf Shitlers Vibrator with C-4 disguised as a Vibrator. Shitler would use this for the Yiff party that would take place after the meeting, once inserted into Shitlers anus or any other persons anus it will trigger the metal rod inside of the dildo causing the dildo to explode. The Yiff party will take place within a structure that has no windows and one door. This means the explosion from dildo will kill everybody in the room, including Shitler. Everything went according to plan until the yiff party's location was changed due to the hot weather. Shitler said "I don't like sweaty cheeks or a sweaty undercheese. It smells like rotten hot dogs and tastes like gonorrhea."

The house they moved the yiff party had 16 windows wide open, this wasn't what Mittens had expected and went forward with the plan regardless. Once the dildo was replaced with the explosive dildo, Mittens left the Yiff party immediately saying he "had a headache" as a reason for not yiffing.

Shitler had the dildo in his butt and farted. It soared to the other side of the room and exploded killing 3 colonels and severely burning Shitler's ass cheeks. Seeing the explosion from the outside, Mittens assumed Shitler was dead and went back to Furlin. As the rebels began taking over by telling them Adolf Shitler was dead. Mittens thought the plan succeeding and began yiffing with every other person he saw. Adolf was indeed still alive and pissed off. He called the offices in Furlin screaming he wanted "Justice for [Adolf's] sexy buns!" He had Officers arrest Mittens and his advocates. Mittens Von Stauffenberg was executed July 21st, 1944.

The Aftermath[edit]

After Operation ValkFurry's failure, the fear of Shitler grew strong. The Allies moved in to destroy Shitler. In March - April, the Russian Bears moved in from the west while the American Pigs and British Foxes came from the east. Furlin was surrounded. Shitler knew the end was coming, so him and his wife Eva Wolf were going to take suicide pills.

Shitler made her take it first and refused to take the pill. Shitler was then caught Masturbating over Eva's body right when he was about to bust one. "NIEN NIEN NIEN!!" he screamed as the Pigs and Foxes dragged him out of the bunker. Bearry Stalin came personally to "Put a butt plug in this asshole." Stalin Pubicly Sodomized Shitler, until eventually the Red army pigs and foxes all ran a train on Shitler. Shitler was sentenced to death by dildo. Ironically it was the same Dildo that as used to club Spike Lee to death. Adolf Shitler was executed in April 30th, 1945.

A New Beginning for Fürmany and the End of the Banana Blitzkrieg[edit]

With the Fürman people free from Adolf Shitler's Tyranny, They rebuild and try to move on. Their were still people who believed in Shitler's Ideals, which caused Fürmany to spilt in half. The wall separated East Fürmany from West Fürmany for more than a quarter of a century, from the day construction began on 13 August 1961 until the Wall was brought down on the 9th November 1989. Fürmany has learned from their past mistakes, and regrets nothing. It had only made them stronger. From 1944 to 1989 was a period of poverty, hatred and yiffing. Mostly Yiffing. But now it is only known by one name. Banana Blitzkrieg.