Band (band)

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Band
Band in a promo shot for their 1979 Album (from left to right; Not You, That Guy, That One Guy, and Chuck Norris
Band in a promo shot for their 1979 Album (from left to right; Not You, That Guy, That One Guy, and Chuck Norris
Genre Unknown
Years Active 420-Tomorrow
Record Labels Gangsta Shizzle
Shitty Recordings
Cocaine Records
Mental Asylum
Not Metallica Records
Lawsuit Recordings
The Record Labal for bands that have had too many record labels</ Record Label
Place of Origin Disneyland


You may be looking for Band and not even know it!


Band is an immensely popular band from the Arctic region of Disneyland. Band is able to mix the styles of Punk, Heavy Metal, Crap, Funk, Old People music, and obscure cowprog-jazzydeath fusion. Ever since the release of their first single, Single, they have enjoyed massive mainstream success on Earth, Venus, and parts of what used to be Pluto.

Band has sold over 55 billion albums in their entire career, with each album selling an estimated amount of 97 million copies..... in the U.S. alone. They have made 722 music videos, released 412.5 albums, and too many singles to count. Unfortunately, the only place that Band lacks success in record sales is Soviet Russia, because there, record sells you! This led into a few lawsuits with the country, but we won't get into that detail. Wait, actually we will. No wait, nevermind we won't.

They are also very well-known for receiving a high amount of critical acclaim, ever since the beginning of their career in 420.

History[edit]

This Guy, in a promo shot taken just 3 minutes before he was kicked out of the band

Band formed in 420 in City, Country, while the members were still in Preschool. The original lineup consisted of This Guy, That Guy, You, and That One Guy. The band never recorded any material until they got sucked into a Wormhole that sent them to 1955 Arctic Disneyland. However, You got killed in the wormhole and was replaced by Me. After writing some new songs, they went into the studio to record their debut album, Album.

Album was released on February 32nd, 1955, along with the #1 hit single, Single. The song gained huge success and allowed the band to go on a world tour. This became one of the most successful tours of all time with an average 6.02*10E23 people in the audience at each show.

As Band got more successful, they also started to fall apart. In the 1960's, This Guy's addiction to Kitten Huffing got serious. He kept overdosing Kitten fur after every concert, and his ability to play like the Kazoo god he was was getting weaker. The band members agreed to send him into rehab. After that, he was replaced by John Cage. Unfortunately, This Guy got out of rehab in 3 minutes and 14 seconds, and continued his adventures in Kitten Huffing. He went on to join I Think Satan Likes Your Mom and Faith No More.

In the mid-70's, the band member's relationships with each other started getting bad. In fact, they even went on a 2 day hiatus that shocked the world and caused Mt. St. Helens to erupt. Fortunately, the band reformed 2 days later, but with a new addition to their lineup- Chuck Norris. Many critics wer skeptical about Chuck Norris joining the band at first, but when they relased the album Antoher Album, but this time we have Chuck Norris! in 1975, critics rejoiced and blew up some dude's car. Some dude, however, sued Band for being responsible for critics celebrating by blowing up his car. To sum it up in a sentence- One of them won the lawsuit. I forget who though.

Shortly, in 1978, lead singer, Not You was in Cheeseaholics Anonymous after suffering a severe overdose of heroin and swiss cheese. He was replaced by Mr. T, who Band recorded 1/4 of a song with. Basically, it didn't go well and Not You was in the band again, with his serious cheese addiction cured.

Band's success started to get weaker as of July 4, 1982, when they hadn't rleased an album for an entire 6 months. Rumor had it that the band broke up or had gotten into a freakish fly fishing accident. It turned out that the band was stuck in a giant lime, which was the main transportation during their 1982 world tour. This event inspired U2 to get stuck in a giant lemon several years later.

Band has released 437 albums and 142 singles ever since the release of Album in 1955. Each one of their albums have reached the #1 spot on the charts. The same can be said for all 142 of their singles.

Currently, band is recording their newest album, New Album, which is expected to be released sometime in 2007, although they've been promising a soon enough release since 1988. This has led to several lawsuits with Axl Rose, because he believes that Band was ripping off Guns N' Roses art of stalling on album releases.

Also, That Other Guy That Nobody Cares About was in the band once, but nobody cared, so he left Band and everyone forgot that he was ever with them.

Disputes with Canada and Lars Ulrich[edit]

One time, in 1999, Band sued that country of Canada for being too canadian. This problem spawned during a stop in Toronto on a world tour, when frontman Not You brought a Canadian dude on stage to introduce the band. That of course, went completely wrong. In an interview brought up after the incident, Not You claimed that he couldn't speak canadian so he didn't have any idea when Band's cue was.

"He was speaking english, but I couldn't understand a god damn thing he was saying", Not You said in an interview with American Fundie Magazine. Band turned out winning the lawsuit.

As for Lars Ulrich, Band had disputes with him for being Lars Ulrich.

That One thing that happened on stage once[edit]

One time, This Guy burned his good kitten huffing nostril due to a freakish pyrotechnics accident. The world mourned for This Guy's poor nostril.

Break-up[edit]

Band broke up on April 9, 2007, after claiming that New Album was a hoax. Inspired by this, Axl Rose soon admitted that Chinese Democracy wasn't not not a non-hoax, leaving pop culture magazines confused as hell by this, causing many editor's heads to explode. Axl Rose was the one that got sued this time.... and he lost.

Reform[edit]

Band later Reformed the next day after Chuck Norris' 20 side projects failed.

Lyrics[edit]

“The Lyrics to "Song" are truly inspiring. They even saved me from attempting suicide”

~ Some Music Critic on Band's Lyrics

Band is also well-known for their lyrics. They have been described as inspiring, shocking, offensive, beautiful, pure shit, and lyrics.


Here is an excerpt of the lyrics from their most well-known song, Song:

Verse!
Lyrics lyrics lyrics!
Lyrics lyrics lyrics!
Lyrics lyrics lyrics!

Chorus! Lyric! Chorus! Chrous! Lyrics! Chorus!

Here is another excerpt, used in the controversial song, 4'33", a rendition of the John Cage original

...

However, Band's most controversial use of lyrics by far, would have to be those to their infamous Your Mom in A Minor.

Your mom!
Your mom is so fat that she's several pounds overweight!
Your mom is so stupid that she has a low I.Q!
Your mom is so something-something that she something-something'd the something-something!
Yeah!
Your Mom!

Many experts have been attempting to decipher the meaning of the Band's mysterious lyrics. One 30-year-old guy who live in his mom's basement once claimed that they meant nothing. The rest of his RuneScape clan didn't believe him, which led to his suicide. That guy's mom sued Band, claiming them responsible. Fortunately, Band won the lawsuit.

Members[edit]

Current Lineup[edit]

  • Not you- Vocals, guitar, keyboard, leafblower
  • That Guy- Lead guitar
  • Chuck Norris- Bass,Guy with a Beard thats there because the band wanted a guy with a beard
  • That One Guy- Drums
  • John Cage- Kazoo, bongos, accordion, washboard, keytar
  • Some dude named Kevin- Guy that stands there and looks cool
  • Your Dad- Didgeridoo

Past Members[edit]

Discography[edit]

The Cover for Band's debut album, Album (1955)
  • Album (1955)
  • Album #2 (1956)
  • Album #3 (1957)
  • Album #4 (1957)
  • Another Album (1958)
  • We made yet another album! (1958)
  • The third album we've made this year (1958)
  • Album, uh.... I think it's #8. Maybe. I don't know. You tell me. (1959)
  • We were doing stuff, so we couldn't make an album for an entire year! (1961)
  • Album #10 (1961)
  • Yet Another Album (1961)
  • In Soviet Russia, album makes you! (1961)
  • Album Road (1961)
  • The Dark Side of the Album (1962)
  • The Album (1963)
  • The Blue Album (1964)
  • The Red Album (1964)
  • The Yellow Album (1964)
  • The Green Album (1964)
  • The Purple Album (1964)
  • The Brown Album (1964)
  • The Magenta Album (1964)
  • The Rainbow Album (1964)
  • Title Goes Here (1965)
  • No [eatyourvegetables] Subliminal [drink Cocoa-Cola] Messages [hail satan] Here [subliminal message!] (1967)
  • A live album (1967)
  • Another Live Album (1968)
  • Moo (1968)
  • Ha!You said 69 (1969)
  • Album (Because we couldn't think of a better title) (1969)

(NOTICE: The next 13 album have the same title as the previous one)

  • Another Album, but this time we have Chuck Norris! (1975)
  • Album! (1976)
  • See, that one had an Exclamation Point, which makes it different... (1976)
  • Best. Album. Evar (1977)
  • Qwertyuiopasdfghjklzxcvbnm (1978)
  • Moo 2 (1978)
  • Title (1979)
  • OMG! (1979)
  • Some Shit (1979)

(The next 200 or so albums are entitled either "Title" or "Album", so there's no use listing them all)

  • Live! At Some Guy's House Party! (2005)
  • Once again, another studio album... (2006)
  • New Album (2007)
  • New New Album (2008)
  • My Girlfriend Justin beiber (Last week)
  • I Dumped My girlfriend(yesterday)
  • album.(1 hour ago)
  • See Na there na i put a fullstop on that last one (Pre-Production nnnnnnnnnnnNOW)

Compilations[edit]

  • compilation(1954)
  • Another compilation(1962)
  • All the last 8 Albums in one (for those too cheap to buy them)(1964)
  • The Third compilation (1972)
  • The 4th and Final compilation (1977)
  • We lied,You Fell for it,LMAO!!!(1978)
  • Cassette Tape-demos (1981)
  • Greatest hits 1955-1989 (1989)
  • Floppy Diskette-other demos (1992)
  • the other greatest hits album that had been sitting in boxes since 1989 finally found under rosie o donnell's 4th chin(1995)
  • Compact Disc-better demo's(2000)
  • Some Compilation Album (2004)
  • Flash Drive-HD Demos (the other day)

Popular Songs[edit]

  • Single
  • Song
  • Another Single
  • New Song
  • Instrumental
  • The Best Song Ever Made
  • TEH GREMATICLY INCORECT SONG
  • The Newest Single
  • Song (Again)
  • Song Title
  • Yes
  • No
  • Maybe
  • 4'33" (John Cage cover)
  • Your Mom in A Minor
  • Song in Key
  • Generic
  • We're better than your band
  • That One Song that has an extremely long and obnoxious title that just makes you want to kill something- maybe a friend, an enemy, or yourself. And soon enough, you'll see that other shitty bands will be taking our idea of obnoxiously long song titles, like Panic! At the Disco and Fall Out Boy. So listen to Our Song or you'll get shot by a sniper that we sent out to get you. Also, Cocks.
  • Sellout Song
  • AAAAAAAAAAAA!
  • OMG!
  • LOL
  • WTF?
  • One Chord song

People That Have Sued Band[edit]

People that have been sued by Band[edit]

We just can't make a list for this one. Bands has nearly sued the entire world. In fact, they are in a lawsuit with Earth right now, due to the fact that not everyone on the planet buys their records.

See Also[edit]