Banhammer

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search

“May thou weild the banhammer for great justices against the noobs and trolls that infest hteh interwebz!!!11”

~ Oscar Wilde on Banhammer
An alleged "photograph" of the "single" remaining "Banhammer"

The Banhammer is a legendary weapon once said to have been wielded by the mysterious holy moderators at the dawn of the 21st century. It was said to have possessed legendary powers such as the ability to destroy a troll's ego with a single blow. The Book of Lurkmoore described the Banhammer thus:

“And behold, the Lamb of Sysop took forth the Banhammer, and drove the nonbelievers from the net, and the followers of Mammon and 4Chan cowered in horror”

~ Lurkmoore, Chapter VII, Verse 12.

The Banhammer is still in existence, although it has yet to be wielded by any mere mortal. Legends tell of an elite ring of mods still in existence with the mandate to bear such a weapon, although we all know how much water your average legend holds...

The Banhammer was created by Raptor Jesus as a means to counter the newly developed ROFLcopter, immediately prior to his extinction. Its use is mandated by our noble lord the almighty Sysop himself. During the Age of Darkness, the Banhammer was wielded by non other than the unholy son of Mammon, Moot himself, and for a while, all was lost.

With the help of Raptor Jesus' disciples, the Banhammer was ultimately recovered, but to prevent inevitable war, it was believed to have been destoryed to re-balance the Universe. Some believe that one of the 9 original Banhammers was preserved by a disciple for use with adult supervision.

Legendary Powers of the Banhammer[edit]

The Banhammer is known for banishing Drama, reducing the incidence of Spam goblins (they are known for their rapid reproduction rate), punishing Vandals and Pageblankers, and making a Statement.