Bar-hopping

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Bar-hopping is a game played in the northern outlands. It takes a minute to learn, but a lifetime to master.

The Main Logo of this game.

The object of this game is to get from one side of the board to the other. No Passing Go, No Collecting $200. (Unless you get the special A.T.M. Card in the Community Chest pile).

Secondary objectives are:

  1. Staying out of Jail
  2. Park Free wherever you can find it, especially where you won’t get towed overnight
  3. Hopping on the railroad afterwards to avoid driving home. (Make sure to stay off of B&O Railroad; I heard it smells)
  4. Trying to pick up chicks on the Boardwalk

Rules[edit]

Barhopping has exactly 13 rules, No More, No Less. Though, please note rule #7.

  1. The person directly to the left of the person with the biggest shoe size goes last. There shall be no checking shoe sizes before hand so you can "team-up" on that one guy no one really likes. (Though you can team-up on him later)
  2. Everyone is to receive about $60 for a typical game. Make sure to bring your A.T.M. Card if you are leaving early, or think you might get busy.
  3. White Guys with fewer then 6 drinks in them may NOT go on the dance floor.
  4. Bros Before Hoes
  5. There must be at least 1 Diner or Dunkin Donuts on the way home, which a stop must be made.
  6. Girls that you grew up with make an excellent after-hours favour if you can't find someone new that night.
  7. Don't cockblock. (I hate it when the fat chick always "has a headache and needs to go home, just cause you and your good buddy seem to be having a good time with her two friends)This goes to both guys and girls. Guys, dont feed off of your buddy's success and spoil his game while doing so.
  8. Cover Bands are a much better form of entertainment than your shitty original band. {We want to sing songs we know, asshole. No, I don't want to buy your shitty CD.)
  9. Your college antics, while they might impress dopey 18yr olds who you invite to your Frat party, don't go over well with the 25 + crowd. Grow the fuck up or get out of my bar.
  10. Pitchers: $5. They are wonderful when you are on a budget.
  11. Your Friends' Friends are fair game. If you don't agree, don't bring them along.
  12. Always Tip Your Bartenders
  13. Do not Pass Go, Do not Collect $200

Winning[edit]

There are many ways to win Barhopping. Having a good time, getting free drinks, picking up a hottie of the opposite sex (or I guess same sex if your into that sort of thing), singing really good Karaoke, getting busy.... I could go on and on, but you really can decide when and how you won. And if you are Charlie Sheen, you are already a Winner!

Losing[edit]

There are really only three ways to lose Barhopping:

  1. Puke on your self
  2. Go Home Alone
  3. Get busted on a DUI/Public Indecency/Morals Charge, Unless you have the "Get Out of Jail Free" card...Celebrity

And, unfortunately, they go hand in hand.