Basil Fawlty

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Basil Fawlty was a visionary performance management consultant who wrote a variety of books during the late 50's and early 60's. He was born sometime in may 1939 in the what was to later become the suburb of Engadine, Sutherland Shire, England, not America. He was home schooled in middle management techniques and developed a talent for re-imiginearing the corprate paragadm and external box thoughtulation, by the age of eight he had alredy written his first symphony and had published a paper on abstracted performance targets and quality management.

'That B**dy Hotel'[edit]

By the time Basil was twenty he had already accumulated a vast fortune from delivering seminars across the county he had published some eighteen individual books however his true opus, his crowning achievement, was still to come. Fighting the complacency which vast sacks of money provides Basil set up a hotel on the outskirts of Landan, it was called 'The Mans Arms' (after the original idea, "Hairy Testicles", was found to be already in use by a nearby hotel) but is best remembered by the name 'Fawlty Towers' taken from the 1970 dramatisation of events there aired on the BBC and directed by his divine and magnificent grace John Cleese.

You was a close personal friend of Basil Fawlty.

It was here that Fawlty began work on his greatest contribution to society, a book, nae, a tomb of such unimaginable importance, that the date of its publication is said to have caused an earthquake, everywhere. That book was called 'Customer Dissatisfaction a new Approach to Customer Satisfaction.' – this book theorised that customers and staff are only truly satisfied when they are dissatisfied, therefore, In order to provide exceptionally excellent customer service, one must provide terrible customer service. This has since become the creed, the motto, the very 'X' of customer support professionals, especially those working for NTL.

Published Material[edit]

  • Abstracted Performance Targets and Quality Management.
  • Project Management for People With No Projects to Manage.
  • Abstracted Performance Targets and Quality Management – Revised.
  • Abstracted Performance Targets and Quality Management – Revised, Again.
  • Hitler and Adaptive Performance Targets – Why the Reich Fell.
  • Quality and Me – Performance Management for Comunists.
  • The Streeming Workload Paragdim and its Implications.
  • Why Is No-One Listening to Techno Any More.
  • Supply and Supply – Tips for Helpdesks (and the people who sit at them).
  • Neothinkspaceinvisionatilisation.
  • 'Customer Dissatisfaction' a new Approach to Customer Satisfaction.
  • 'Customer Dissatisfaction' a new Approach to Customer Satisfaction. – Revised Edition
  • 'Customer Dissatisfaction' a new Approach to Customer Satisfaction. – Two
  • 'Customer Dissatisfaction' a new Approach to Customer Satisfaction. – Two Turbo
  • 'Customer Dissatisfaction' a new Approach to Customer Satisfaction. – Championship Edition
  • 'Customer Dissatisfaction' a new Approach to Customer Satisfaction. – Kosher Edition.
  • 'Customer Dissatisfaction' a new Approach to Customer Satisfaction. – Pocket Edition
  • 'Customer Dissatisfaction' a new Approach to Customer Satisfaction. – 10th Anaversery Edition


See Also[edit]