Basketball players

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Attempted slam dunk by a very stupid basketball player

“He was a good player.”

“We shouldn't pick Michael Jordan. Let's take Sam Bowie.”

~ The owner of the Portland Trailblazers on the first pick of the 1984 NBA draft

“I'm lucky to have this God-given talent, that my dad gave me.”

~ an NBA player on his skills

Basketball players are elusive creatures known for their world renowned height, and ability to jump. If looking for a basketball player, there are a few characteristics that will help you spot them. First off, they usually have a black coating over their skin, they wear long shorts that go way past their knees, along with the most expensive shoes they can find. They also enjoy playing with other people's balls (especially those who are named Wilson). If you're really having trouble on your search for a basketball player, you may want to check the state prison, I'm sure you can find a few there.


Attempted steal by opposing team player

“I should've taken up basketball as a kid. I wouldn't have been fat or involved in crime and jailed and had the back of my skull caved in with a metal rod.”

~ Carl Williams on why he is a deceased, worthless cunt.

“It has been used as a cure for insomnia.”

~ a random person on basketball

The term Basketball "player" came about because some fly cracker who calls himself Kobe Bryant aka molester thought that he was a pimp and could get all the women in the world. Well, he was mistaken, so he had to turn to other means to get the job done. Resulting in the nick name Kobe "she was already raped when I got here" Bryant. Other "players" soon tried to follow in his foot steps, thus resulting in a whole country of basketball players.



“Steve Nash, James Naismith! Basketball is Canadian!”

~ Jake the snake on basketball names

“Mmm, mmm, mmm, taste that spicy hot ass.”

All being named Shaniqa, Antoine, Shantel, Dameon, Deante and Carl a new way had to be invented in order to tell them all apart since you sure couldn't do it by there looks. So they began making up ridiculous and corny nicknames for each other. These nick names soon became a fad, and began to spread like wildfire.


All basketball players are 15' tall. Everyone of them is black and a man. If any white or female people are caught playing the sport they are exectuted by bombardment from basketballs. Most teams use trampolines, step-ladders, winches and secret jet packs developed by Steven Hawking for no obvious reason. The best basketball player ever is Gary Coleman.

See also[edit]

“Oh why don't you go postal on us, Mr. Postal Worker.”

~ Some Guy on Karl "The Mail Man" Malone